May 25, 2001

  • Loose, So Very Loose!!!...


    I wish I was talking about the mores of this gorgeous girl I spotted in a bar last night...but I'm talking about my car. The steering is now so loose that w-ob-bl-e doesn't even begin to describe it.  I mean, the steering is so everywhere that I feel like I'm driving an unruly 4 ton military equipment truck on unimproved trails in central america again.  Or like I'm the pilot on the Titanic laggingly trying to steer clear of the menacing iceberg!!


    This is the situation: If I want to steer into a turn, I now have to begin about 1/2 second before I normally would.  Now that may not seem like much, but at 60 mph, that means that I must start a turn about 44 feet prior to actually entering it--or wait until I enter it, turn, and continue going straight for 44 feet before the car responds. 


    Of course, I opt for steering in the future.  So everything I do in this time-co-opted matrix that this car has come to occupy is somewhere slightly in time ahead.  Back to the future, indeed!


    Now you may be wondering *what's up with this car?*  So here's the short explanation: the steering shaft in the engine compartment beyond the firewall has broken loose of its double-fastened anchor to the firewall.  The result is that the steering shaft is no longer immobile, but itself sails a bit left or right--until it hits some other obstructions--whenever I make those respective turns.  And its "sailing" must finish (about 1/2 second)before the act of turning actually begins.  I've learned to manage it--but sense and instinct-wise, it's a trip. 


    And no one wants to fix it!  The welder claims he'd need a mechanic to pull the engine before he could pull the firewall out to weld it.  And why not weld it in place?  He claims it would start a fire in the dashboard--ah, no, let's discard that option!  And the work that is envisioned costs more than the car is worth.  So... So...


    Is it time to restabilize my mobility?  A new car, perhaps??


    Damn, what a great opportunity to chuck it all and get a motorcycle again.    Then I could pretend I'm Lawrence of Arabia on the highway two-tiring it across the American Interstate tar-covered sands!  I can see it now: a one-tank trip to Akaba or any other point unannounced. 


    So maybe I'll go shopping this weekend.  But I hate shopping so much ! 


    Or maybe I'll just go out searching for that perfect beer to keep me on the cutting edge, one half second closer to the sands of eternity with a shifting drive shaft....

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