March 29, 2002

  • We're probably going to feel like virgilmvx after this.  But that is good, isn't it?  And if we discover that it isn't good, shouldn't we let him know, too? (Perhaps, his transformation into a boddhisattva requires just such a prod?)  Anyway, since everything happens for a purpose, shouldn't every message have a meaning?  Hence, I seek enlightenment concerning this email below that gratuitously arrived with the Subject: Do Not Delete! :


    (note: my intermissions are ruby red!)


    This is for adult men only !!!

    ****************** If you did not 'opt-in', please delete now! ***


    (wait!  the subject said Do Not Delete. but now, they'd have me delete!  Is this the Poltergeist paradox of "Don't Go Into the Light", then later "Go Into the Light" "...But you said not to go into the Light  !!!" ?)

    ****************** IF YOU ARE NOT AN ADULT, DELETE NOW !! ********

    (ok. so there are two strikes against me already.  but if I'm not an adult, do they really believe that I'm either responsible enough or respectful enough to listen to them ?!  ha)

    We are a serious company,


    (an important distinction, since we know most companies, by default, are simply silly )


    offering a program that will enhance your sex
    life, and  enlarge your penis in a totally natural way.  Please DO NOT mistake this with other offers !!!


    (i.e., the unnatural penis enlargement offers--or is that, the unnatural enlargement of a natural un-penis..never mind!)

    We realize many men -and their partners-


    (and why didn't they say girlfriends, female companions, and/or wives?)


    are unhappy with their penis size.


    (whose penis size? the men? or their partners? or both?  do women claim: "this is our penis!" in the sense that the above "their penis size" can mean "theirs" too??)


    The truth is that size matters,  not only it affects many men's performance, but their  self-esteem as well.


    (not to mention that it also effects the ability to properly employ the word "does" in phrases such as "not only does it affect many..." )

    Penis enlargement is POSSIBLE;  just as you can exercise almost any part of your  body, you CAN exercise your penis.


    (think: repetitions. think: load-bearing.  hey--exercise means burning calories, so maybe this is really a secret, even better way to lose weight?)

    Our program is totally PROVEN and GUARANTEED !!!


    (or what?  our penis back??)

    Our company has the techniques! Totally NATURAL techniques; no gadgets, no pumps, no surgery!


     (no Real Dolls  ??  so why even bother reading on?! )


    If you want more information, please go to...


    (not so fast!)


    We're not stupid, but we're lost.  We want more information, but we don't want to have to pay for this!  Save me, Mr. Wizard, puhlease!!

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