It’s Sunday morning.  No one’s watching.  Time to be myself.  Kneel in the shower, reach beyond the shower curtain, and type whatever comes to mind...

Damn, the hot water is undulating and scalding my crotch—almost.  But I will forbear since that intensity is better than feeling nothing at all.

I have just created my own atmosphere.  There’s enough fog in the bathroom for a plane without instrumentation to get lost in.  I wonder if this manifestation of humidity will short out my laptop?

I am a fucking general.  Really.  But I skipped my calling.  Had a premonition that someday ‘blogging’ would come to earth.  Wanted to be  part of that and not Patton in the sands of Africa.  Or a Gen. Tommy in the sands of Arabia.

The world’s largest organism weighs 6.600 tons and clones itself over million of years.  I weigh 200 lbs and dream unfulfilled night after night but only for decades more, at most, until the changing of the Form.  Ah, but at least I dream!  And in my dreams, I kill monsters that suck!  But not those types of monsters.  Rather, demon monsters and bloggymen!  And after the changing of the Form, I shall be engaged in killing monsters for real!  This life, I’ve figured out, is only my psychic readying ground.

One plus one.  I didn’t say “equals”.  If you added this up, good.  If you equated this with another number after adding it up, then you’ve jumped ahead of me.  Bad.  Contemplate ‘one plus one’ without equating it.  Okay?  Good.  Now brainstorm:

‘one plus one’  sucks _____ .
‘one plus one’  sees _____ .
‘one plus one’  craves ______ .
‘one plus one’  hates _____ .
‘one plus one’  hides _____ .
“you plus I’ equals ________ .
‘what the world needs now’ is ______ .

Congratulations.  You have just finished your first lesson in Intimate Arithmetic.  Scoring is accomplished on a date-by-date basis.  See the instructor for details.

*end of shower*