September 8, 2002
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Blogger runs self to death in cemetery
In what can only be described as a most bizarre incident, a jogger/blogger apparently embraced the death faerie today by streaking in 92-95 F heat through the rugged hilly terrain of a popular local cemetery to the utter conclusion of a mortal collapse. notforprophet, known to some as nfp, seemingly first lost all sensibility as he stripped to the buff strewing his running shirt, shoes, socks, and trunks throughout Lakeview Cemetery and then lost his life running full speed smack into a headstone designated “Beers” while apparently attempting to impress a strolling, passerby beauty queen out on her constitutional.
“It was tragic,” said Pixie Wingwood, who just happened to witness nfp’s final missteps upon this earth, “He had it all going for him: a good, quick gate, deep breaths, and everything swinging in buff rhythm. But when he looked up surprised and saw me smiling at him, I recognized that *transfixed look* in his eyes…faraway…and then like a runaway train, *wham* he went into that barrier at the end of the line.”
Services were held on the spot since it seemed stupid to remove his remains from the cemetery only to bring them back again.
Pixie Wingwood, who was so impressed by nfp’s heroics that she proposed and consummated a common law marriage with him even as he lay in a writhing heap dying, quoted nfp’s cryptic last words as some wholly incomprehensible gibberish, most likely not even English, along the lines of: “an whar are dose fuqin eprops whenya really needem?”
The dreadful L.F. (“Look Fast”) Beers headstone, site of nfp’s undoing. While some say it was his abrupt attention to the coincidental appearance of Ms. Pixie that distracted him into a mortal colliding slip-up, others who knew him claim they believe it was actually the effects of the unbearable heat on that fateful day that created a mirage of “Brewmeister Heaven” towards which he deliriously sprinted for a purely imagined finish line of quenching refreshments.
Comments (259)
where are the pics of you in the "buff" LOL
btw.. i see you on that cam *whistles* woo!
*gasp*
Um... hmm... Pixie Wingwood?
*mwuahahahaha*
*gives you a baffled look*
Baffled? Transfixed? What's the difference?!!
Oh, you!
LOL!
LOL. this was too good. *applauds*
Hahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaa! Ohmanohman...I needed this laugh SO much!
touché
If I had know it was going to be the end, I would have run nekkid with ya
Were you really nekkid?
that is so great
Lmao!! This was excellent! Now if those pictures of nfp in the "buff" mysteriously end up in the National Enquirer...it wasn't me
lol, this is only my second time to your site...but fun times as always, I'm sure!
Damn it! You're married????
Oh,wait, er . . . damn it! You're dead????
i agree with HeavenlyEuphoria's note.
and with how hot it has been here lately... i've wanted to strip down and run naked...
Heh. I had the perfect soundtrack for this blog while I was reading it- "Drivin' that train, high on cocaine. Casey Jones you better watch your speed. Trouble ahead. Trouble behind. And you know that notion just crossed my mind." -Casey Jones, by the Grateful Dead. Good times. Sorry about the death, but at least you got laid, right?
Now, my cousin was found naked in a cemetary and they threw him in jail. Guess he didn't run fast enough.
Brewmeister Heaven... hehe!
May our beloved NFP rest in peace, at least long enough to sleep it off.
Stupid thing didn't post my comment... I shall try again!
*~*OMG *standing ovation! Crying laughing tears!* YOU ROCK*~*
Xxx ~mystiksoul~ xxX
YAY it's monday!!!
beers!
For a second there I worried that you were disappearing from Xanga, too, but then I realized that this is probably just your latest way to find a new blogging challenge. Anyone who works out how to blog in the tub/shower could surely find a way to blog from the grave, too. We will check back...
roflmao... you are such a nut, nfp. That must be why I love you.
hugs,
wf
Sucks to be YOU!
roflol...
Not much of substance i can add to that, but since 'roflol' is hardly substance... ah well, it's 12:31 AM, give me some slack...
Mmmmmmm ok
Oh baby, come over here and I'll do mouth-to-mouth on ya. That'll wake you right up!
I liked the last bit on the gravestone very much. I haven't been on your site very much so I have to get uised to your style of writing. Cheers Portia
loves f*cking beers? what a way to die.....
It ' s good.
just like I thought... you'd blog 'till you drop and continue from the other side... ~ shakes head ~ and I thought *I* was addicted?
::ominous cemetary music plays in the background:: Does that mean I can have your XangaGod staus?
Encore! (And this time the picture of NFP in the buff please.)
At least he was able to die happy, thanks to Pixie.
i'll drink to that.
tooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::falls over::
and we didn't even know you were gone, with your perpetual blogging machine set up!
Alas, poor NFP, we knew him well!
LOL!!!
~smiling~..."Death" becomes you...Peace Rose
Ya really need to get off that graveyard shift.
Heads up
Too late
R.I.P.N.F.P.
Hmm... is that like an Everquest death? Where you spawn back at your bind point with a slight XP loss, then have to run back to your corpse to get all your stuff back? Or is it one of those cemetries where you know your wallet and watch will be gone by the time you get there anyway?
*chuckle*
Ged
LOL! RIP nfp! blogging from the beyond...kinda creepy in a way....
OK - I can't get past the mental image of everything swinging in rythm ......
Thank you for your comment Steve. I wasnt speaking of outward appearances. I was speaking in terms of internal growth. I feel like Im going through a growth spurt on the inside. I just dont know if I have enough room. Its diffrent. Rearanging alot of things.
And, you cant die. We havent went out for coffe yet!
-Laura
so, that was you...
woodland thing you are. woodland city cemetary trooper.
hrm. i thought only i could see you.
thanks again for the comment on my blog during this time for me...it's a good way to look at things...
I laughed... I cried... I scratched my head...
I think I like it!
hey you
How romantic! I may cry!
RA..HmmFFHA! RA-RA-RA-RO-ROFL-ROFL-ROFL!
MWWWUUUUHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
(I had to wake up Camilla for this one and we've been laughing for ten minutes now)
I just had to come back and ROFL it again!
MWU-HU-HA!
truly fascinating! Naked in the cemetary is probably a good thing!
Yowza...I didn't think that could really kill a person. I mean they show it happening repeatedly on americas funniest home videos. lol
~Mo
sounds like a party.
I truly laughed.
I'm trying to stop giggling. I need that. Thanks.
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