September 29, 2001
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Death becomes me. That’s what no woman sees. Should I explain for a thousandth time? For a thousandth time have understanding words returned to me to cloak me like a glazing shroud until the passing of that moment when the glaze dries to a brittle transparency? Clairvoyant? Psychic? Who can see what I have seen? This clarity of crystal vision burning within! Yes, I burn—so do not touch! Pour more understanding words, if you will, as a glaze to dull for a moment the luminosity, to cool the flame temporarily. Yet Death waits, for it becomes me. Soon. Soon enough, don’t we all agree?
I am literally dying of lovelessness. My body is shaking apart, my legs grow heavy, my arms fling helplessly, while my heart feels like a neutron star determined to compact my entire existence into an imperceptible minutia. But I’ll hold together surely—cohere as I must to finish what I’ve started. And what is that? What work might I have other than that which is economically transposed? I can but answer with my favorite phrase: “We’ll see.”
The bear went over the mountain,
The bear went over the mountain,
The bear went over the mountain
To see what it could see.
And all that it could see,
And all that it could see,
Was a new paradigm of reality,
A new paradigm of reality,
A new paradigm of reality
Was all that it could see.
We’ll see. Won’t we? Soon?
…just talking to a satellite while blogging from a distant cemetery…
Comments (444)
who do you love?
You die from want of love, and I die from not being able to reach mine.
Dying of lovelessness?
Now look what you've done!!!!!! Your sorrow has caused me to shed tears of mourning for you. And for myself because I know this pain of lovelessness...of death becoming me. You are not alone. Yet I know that that holds no consolation for you...as knowing that you suffering as I do holds no consolation for me. So we both sit in silence waiting for someone else to ease our pain.
If love came in a bottle, I would buy you a drink, or in a cloth, I'd buy you the blanket. If it sailed the seas, I would kill the crew and steer it towards you, jumping off the deck and into the sea at the last minute as it crashed into your sphere of control.
But alas, I know not where it lies.
*hugz*
*sigh*
just as I was trying so hard to forget what I will never have and be thankful for what I've got...
that cemetary is a crowded one.
*hug*
How can I die if i've never known life?
It is the heart and not the brain
That to the highest doth attain,
And he who followeth Love's behest
Far excelleth all the rest.
Maybe love is closer then you think and your overlooking it. Sometimes we don't see what could be right in front of us.
Hey Steve, if you can try to remember, the last conversation we had on the telephone..If you can, remember what I said about you and those around you whom may be causing you such hurt?
And I still stand by what I said..
Who is benefiting from all of it?
How long do you jog in place until you realize you have gone nowhere?
agrochick78 has a valid point, it seems.
Nevertheless, if I have anything to say about it (which I don't believe I do) you will never go loveless.
how many people feel this way out there? i don't feel particulary loved myself...i'm yearning for that magical connection...it's staggering to think of all of us out in the world, wanting and searching and stressing over this issue...like a billion blind men and women wandering aimlessly bumping into each other...sounds like time to buy some beer to me...
"How long do you jog in place until you realize you have gone nowhere?" Agrochick asks a good question--one I think we all need to ask ourselves from time to time.
However, one thing you do not lack, NFP is the ability to strike a chord w/others through your words...
Lovelessnes..such a sad state. Why do you do this to me?
You're not unloved. Remember that.
she would come........in time
I'm thinking I need to know what love really is before I know whether Im dying of lovelessness.
I thought I knew.. but I'm sure I don't now.
Damn!
You have purchased a satelite phone! And even with a modem!!!
Did you finally win the lottery?
YaY!
*walking past you, glancing at you once in the eyes and looking away sharply*
I would have never left you loveless. Read again.
Interestingly diverse comments here...
Lovelessness. I know the meaning of that word. Sadly enough. Even if love is all around us, no matter where we go. Comfort, comfort.
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That's a quick-witted answer to a difficult question
With all these silly websites, such a great page keeps my internet hope alive.
You can always tell an expert! Thanks for contributing.
Stands back from the keyboard in amazement! Thanks!
It's great to find an expert who can explain things so well
Wow I must confess you make some very trenchant points.
Economies are in dire straits, but I can count on this!
A wonderful job. Super helpful information.
A really good answer, full of rationality!
Thanks for sharing. Always good to find a real expert.
So true. Honesty and everything recognized.
Okay I'm convinced. Let's put it to action.
This has made my day. I wish all postings were this good.
Taking the overview, this post hits the spot
Me and this article, sitting in a tree, L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G!
That kind of thinking shows you're an expert
Very true! Makes a change to see someone spell it out like that.
Yo, good lookin out! Gonna make it work now.
Your post has moved the debate forward. Thanks for sharing!
Taking the overview, this post is first class
BION I'm impressed! Cool post!
It's great to find an expert who can explain things so well
That's an astute answer to a tricky question
The genius store called, they're running out of you.
This is the ideal answer. Everyone should read this
Pin my tail and call me a donkey, that really helped.
What a pleasure to find someone who thinks through the issues
That's a subtle way of thinking about it.
Surprising to think of something like that
These topics are so confusing but this helped me get the job done.
All of these articles have saved me a lot of headaches.
Good to see real expertise on display. Your contribution is most welcome.
What I find so interesting is you could never find this anywhere else.
I could watch Schindler's List and still be happy after reading this.
This is crystal clear. Thanks for taking the time!
What a pleasure to find someone who thinks through the issues
At last! Something clear I can understand. Thanks!
Always refreshing to hear a rational answer.
I read your posting and was jealous
You're on top of the game. Thanks for sharing.
This info is the cat's pajamas!
Back in school, I'm doing so much learning.
Thanks for the great info dog I owe you biggity.
Great article, thank you again for writing.
None can doubt the veracity of this article.
I want to send you an award for most helpful internet writer.
Pin my tail and call me a donkey, that really helped.
It's good to see someone thinking it through.
It's always a pleasure to hear from someone with expertise.
I much prefer informative articles like this to that high brow literature.
You saved me a lot of hassle just now.
I thought I'd have to read a book for a discovery like this!
Surprisingly well-written and informative for a free online article.
That's way more clever than I was expecting. Thanks!
I wanted to spend a minute to thank you for this.
This article achieved exactly what I wanted it to achieve.
And I was just wondering about that too!
Normally I'm against killing but this article slaughtered my ignorance.
This could not possibly have been more helpful!
It's much easier to understand when you put it that way!
I'm shocked that I found this info so easily.
It's always a pleasure to hear from someone with expertise.
It's a joy to find someone who can think like that
You write so honestly about this. Thanks for sharing!
Finding this post has answered my prayers
Great thinking! That really breaks the mold!
Haha, shouldn't you be charging for that kind of knowledge?!
This "free sharing" of information seems too good to be true. Like communism.
You've got it in one. Couldn't have put it better.
If I were a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, now I'd say "Kowabunga, dude!"
Great thinking! That really breaks the mold!
I reckon you are quite dead on with that.
Way to go on this essay, helped a ton.
An answer from an expert! Thanks for contributing.
Play informative for me, Mr. internet writer.
A rolling stone is worth two in the bush, thanks to this article.
It's spooky how clever some ppl are. Thanks!
What a pleasure to meet someone who thinks so clearly
That's a smart answer to a difficult question.
Never seen a better post! ICOCBW
I was struck by the honesty of your posting
Stands back from the keyboard in amazement! Thanks!
Now I feel stupid. That's cleared it up for me
It's great to find someone so on the ball
This information is off the hizool!
That saves me. Thanks for being so sensible!
That's a skillful answer to a difficult question
Your's is a point of view where real intelligence shines through.
Essays like this are so important to broadening people's horizons.
Mighty useful. Make no mistake, I appreciate it.
All of my questions settled-thanks!
Super informative writing; keep it up.
Until I found this I thought I'd have to spend the day inside.
Holy concise data batman. Lol!
Wow! Great to find a post knocking my socks off!
I feel so much happier now I understand all this. Thanks!
Thanks for your thoughts. It's helped me a lot.
So true. Honesty and everything recognized.
That's way the bestest answer so far!
In awe of that answer! Really cool!
I think you hit a bullseye there fellas!
You've managed a first class post
Awesome you should think of something like that
What I find so interesting is you could never find this anywhere else.
I guess finding useful, reliable information on the internet isn't hopeless after all.
This introduces a pleasingly rational point of view.
Not bad at all fellas and gallas. Thanks.
I read your post and wished I'd written it
Weeeee, what a quick and easy solution.
How neat! Is it really this simple? You make it look easy.
Normally I'm against killing but this article slaughtered my ignorance.
A perfect reply! Thanks for taking the trouble.
Four score and seven minutes ago, I read a sweet article. Lol thanks
I am forever indebted to you for this information.
That's 2 clever by half and 2x2 clever 4 me. Thanks!
Cheers pal. I do appreciate the writing.
That addresses several of my concerns actually.
I'll try to put this to good use immediately.
I thought I'd have to read a book for a discovery like this!
I found myself nodding my noggin all the way through.
Keep these articles coming as they've opened many new doors for me.
All things considered, this is a first class post
I was seriously at DefCon 5 until I saw this post.
Times are changing for the better if I can get this online!
That really captures the spirit of it. Thanks for posting.
You know what, I'm very much inclined to agree.
That's a smart answer to a tricky question
You have more useful info than the British had colonies pre-WWII.
If you want to get read, this is how you should write.
For the love of God, keep writing these articles.
I told my grandmother how you helped. She said, "bake them a cake!"
You've really captured all the essentials in this subject area, haven't you?
Dag nabbit good stuff you whippersnappers!
Glad I've finally found something I agree with!
thank you for share!
Hey, that's powerful. Thanks for the news.
You're the greatest! JMHO
In the complicated world we live in, it's good to find simple solutions.
It's posts like this that make surfing so much pleasure
IJWTS wow! Why can't I think of things like that?
Economies are in dire straits, but I can count on this!
As Charlie Sheen says, this article is "WINNING!"
I read your post and wished I was good enough to write it
Good points all around. Truly appreciated.
This does look promising. I'll keep coming back for more.
I've been looking for a post like this forever (and a day)
Wow! Great thinking! JK
Tu en es encore à la tentation d’Antoine. L’ébat du zèle écourté, les tics d’orgueil puéril, l’affaissement et l’effroi.Mais tu te mettras au travail : toutes les possibilités harmoniques et architecturales s’émouvront autour de ton siège. Des êtres parfaits, imprévus, s’offriront à tes expériences. Dans tes environs affluera rêveusement la curiosité d’anciennes foules et de luxes oisifs. Ta mémoire et tes sens ne seront que la nourriture de ton impulsion créatrice. Quant au monde, quand tu sortiras, que sera-t-il devenu ? En tout cas, rien des apparences actuelles.
je ne suis jamais allé dans un spa, je n’ai jamais été me faire faire un massage et sincèrement je pense que sa doit être très agréable.Donc je dois dire que tu as beaucoup de chance. A mon avis tu aurais du partir en courant quand tu as oublié ton maillot, sa aurait fait un bon prétexte pour y retourner.
I found this website when I did a search on breastfeeding. I was trying to find out how much milk my 7 month old should be getting each day. I was so frustrated with my pumping experience that I was ready to cry or maybe just beat that $200 breastpump with a baseball bat. Luckily your website has renewed my pumping enthusiasm, mostly by making me laugh for about 2 hours. I would like to know how in the world you built up such a plentiful supply of milk? I only get about 2 ounces per pumping session.
Now I know who the brainy one is, I'll keep looking for your posts.
That's way the bestest answer so far!
I wanted to visit and allow you to know how , very much I liked discovering this blog today. I’d consider it a great honor to do things at my company and be able to utilize tips shared on your web site and also get involved in visitors’ responses like this. Should a position connected with guest author become available at your end, remember to let me know.
With the exception of the Cast of Characters, this snippet is almost word-for-word a snippet of ‘Butterfles in the Kremlin part 1′ in GG 8.It is foretold that ‘Kremlin Games’ will diverge from ‘Butterflies … ‘, so I guess I will have to treat the GG serial ‘Butterflies … ‘ as EARC sample chapters. I –am– curious to see what changes!
I'm impressed. You've really raised the bar with that.
Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.
Oh yeah, fabulous stuff there you!
I have been so bewildered in the past but now it all makes sense!
Great common sense here. Wish I'd thought of that.
Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.
Thanks for spending time on the computer (writing) so others don't have to.
Thanks for contributing. It's helped me understand the issues.
Way to use the internet to help people solve problems!
Shiver me timbers, them's some great information.
Your post has lifted the level of debate
Frankly I think that's absolutely good stuff.
This is the ideal answer. Everyone should read this
With all these silly websites, such a great page keeps my internet hope alive.
Knocked my socks off with knowledge!
And to think I was going to talk to someone in person about this.
You mean I don't have to pay for expert advice like this anymore?!
This site is like a classroom, except I don't hate it. lol
It's great to find an expert who can explain things so well
That's a mold-breaker. Great thinking!
I hate my life but at least this makes it bearable.
Great insight. Relieved I'm on the same side as you.
That's the best answer of all time! JMHO
I found myself nodding my noggin all the way through.
I can't hear anything over the sound of how awesome this article is.
If you're reading this, you're all set, pardner!
This website makes things hella easy.
Pin my tail and call me a donkey, that really helped.
That's the thinking of a creative mind
If you wrote an article about life we'd all reach enlightenment.
I searched a bunch of sites and this was the best.
This piece was cogent, well-written, and pithy.
I've been looking for a post like this for an age
Now that's subtle! Great to hear from you.
We definitely need more smart people like you around.
That insight's just what I've been looking for. Thanks!
The paragon of understanding these issues is right here!
I just hope whoever writes these keeps writing more!
If you wrote an article about life we'd all reach enlightenment.
Information is power and now I'm a !@#$ing dictator.
Thanks for being on point and on target!
Taking the overview, this post hits the spot
Could you write about Physics so I can pass Science class?
Gee whiz, and I thought this would be hard to find out.
If I were a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, now I'd say "Kowabunga, dude!"
That's a subtle way of thinking about it.
I read your post and wished I was good enough to write it
A wonderful job. Super helpful information.
Tip top stuff. I'll expect more now.
I hate my life but at least this makes it bearable.
That's an apt answer to an interesting question
Wow! Great thinking! JK
That's a posting full of insight!
Well, I found out that the first Gothic novel was published in 1764, The Castle of Otranto by Horace Walpole! Yes, cltases and all that, but back then, there were also lots of both ghosts and blood. Even RLS's Dr Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde is considered Gothic. Edgar Allen Poe is Gothic. Also, anti-Catholicism is often featured prominently in great Britain's Gothic lit.(who knew? I didn't but scary monks are Gothic!). Also, if you've read Northanger Abbey you're familiar with Anne Radcliffe's The Mysteries of Udolpho guess what, written in 1794, it is another early Gothic novel, which Austen was making fun of in NA.I haven't read Esme, but she doesn't appear Gothic on the cover! Looks a little too cheerful for true Gothic! I think you're right, Gayle!
ディオール ネイル新発売
givenchy アクティマイン
ルブタン 財布 メンズ 芸能人
リモワ サルサエアー セール
ディオール ミラー
トリーバーチ ハワイ 値段
シチズン ジュエリー 評判
ヴィヴィアンウエストウッド 和歌山 551
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