July 20, 2001

  • Are you  a serious blogger trying to establish readership but fearful that if you miss a daily post your readers will vanish into thin air?  (It’s happened before!)


    Are you overwhelmed by the more than 1200 daily updates (and growing) of fellow bloggers and oppressed by your own inability to keep up with your own “Sites I Read”??


    Do you sometimes crave to articulate your heart, to blog forever under the stars, but find yourself on occasion too ill or expressively lackluster to push the pearl that’s your beauty in blogform???


    Is that’s what’s bothering you, Bunky?


    Well, then be bothered no more because Blog Underwriting Leave’em and Love’em (president, yours truly) is here to help you cruise the fast lane to the finish line. Yes, for a nominal fee, you can now blog freely and happily without being concerned should you go on hiatus, take a vacation, have an unexpected blog-debilitating accident (I think of our dear VeryModern’s recent mishap), or be taken hostage by the thought-police.


    True to our motto of “Blogging where nobody’s blogged before!”, we are prepared to draw upon myriad resources to provide you with quality material designed to fit the style and mood of expression that you desire.


    For a spot token fee of only $1.00 per post ($1.00 additionally for an appropriate graphic), we can keep your blog throttling forward with the unshakeable resolve of a Sherman tank treading through a desert storm.  We will keep you on track!  And your tracks will make an unmistakable impression in this Xangan landscape which, though poppled with peeps, may become a veritable desert in extent should the blowing sands of daily demands distract and detour you from your blogging passion. Yes!


    And don’t worry about comments for your benefactors anymore either.  For another measly dollar you can get:


    30 blithe comments   or
    10 pithy comments    or
    5 brilliant comments


    left wherever and when, according to your pre-planned arrangements!


    And if you don’t care to be encumbered by piecemeal temporary pricing schemes, we now offer Blog Insurance!  Yes!  For only $50 semi-annually we will monitor your blog and cover your absence in all instances except death. 


    And even death cannot stop you now!!!   If you include us in your will in perpetuity for a heavenly fee of only $300 a year, we will continue to blog on your behalf into and beyond the grave.  Correct: we are now offering you Virtual Blogging Immortality!


    You might ask how are we able to do all this at such ridiculously low prices?  Well due to a breakthrough in the design of the HAL 10000 autoblogger, combined with Xanga’s ability to post via email and certain custom autoresponder email agents that we’ve designed for our Lotus Notes client, we can promise you CONTENT like never before! 


    We are so proud of our CONTENT and we so stand behind our CONTENT that if you’re not fully 100% content with our CONTENT, we’ll accept payment in eProps (terms, should such an unlikely occurrence ever arise, to be arranged by a binding arbitrator).  Yes!  We are the first bona fide business to make eProps more than just goodwill currency!!!


    So take the fear and uncertainty out of blogging!!!  Let Blog Underwriting help you Leave’em and Love’em today!


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