February 28, 2006
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True story. Almost seems like yesterday . . .
On the way home, I decided to stop at a bar and just socialize a bit. I was sitting awhile by myself when some woman comes running up, grabs a bar stool and scoots intimately up next to me, and then starts pouring out her tale of distress about some guy on the other side of the bar (not visible from where I was sitting) claiming to be a cop and harassing her, sexual intimidation, improper touching, etc. I think Jesus, is this woman for real? I ask her what’s this *cop* look like? and she says he’s young, has black hair with a black mustache. And she’s says that he’s also bothering three other young girls sitting over there near him. So I say OK, I am going to have a look, and she says NO, NO, don’t confront him, but I say I am only going to check it out cause there is nothing worse than a renegade cop. So I get up and casually wander to the front of the bar and gaze over in the direction where she says he is sitting and, sure enough, there is some stocky guy matching her description at the corner of the bar watching me. So I figure OK, that’s him, wander back to my beer, and she says did you see him? And I confirm, but just then one of the three other young girls walks by on her way to the restroom and this distressed woman who sat down next to me starts asking her Did he grope you? and the young cute one says Yeah but assures her that I've already told the bartender. So now I’m kinda really upset so I say I’m going to wander around and the woman says NO, NO, but I do not share her timidity so I get up and sure enough there is the stocky *cop* guy just standing there talking to some other girl and I walk up and say HEY DUDE HOW’s LIFE?! and he is kinda taken aback and I say YOU KNOW WHAT’s COOL—JUST GETTING TO KNOW AND RESPECT PEOPLE. And he asks BUT WHY ME? OUT OF EVERYBODY IN THE BAR, WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? and I say that Well, I got to start somewhere and then I start talking to the girl he was talking to and he again asks HEY DUDE, WHY ME? And I say because I want to meet everybody in the bar and so then I start talking to the next guy down the bar, an old guy who turned out to be a 2nd World War vet shot down 5 times on missions, but I am keeping my eye on this other stocky *cop* guy who has now moved away from the bar and taken a seat with some buddy in a booth. So I spend some time talking to the old vet and then notice that the guy on down next to him also has black hair and a mustache. And I’m thinking—hell—this is probably the real *cop* guy maybe and not that other stocky *cop* guy who really looks more like a *mafia* guy. So at that point, not knowing what I might have gotten into, I start telling real loud courageous death-taunting and death-defying Col. North Contra stories to the old vet and I’m acting like Rambo hoping to be able to fight like Steven Segal if the situation gets critical. So this other more potential *cop* guy whom I haven’t spoken to yet, turns to me and asks me What are ya drinking? cause he wants to buy me a drink cause he really likes the dark, blood-curdling jungle stories I’m telling. So I take a beer and then ask him What the hell do YOU do? and he says YOU KNOW. and I say No, I don’t—what do you do? and he repeats YOU KNOW. and points to an emblem emblazoned on his jacket declaring CLEVELAND POLICE. But, on closer inspection, I notice this guy is fat and wasted and the old vet says hey, his name is Tony and he’s allright, he’s not a bad guy. And so somewhat emboldened I turn back to this tony-cop and check out his tee-shirt under his jacket which has the three little pigs on it and I start laughing and pull back his jacket and, pointing at his tee, I’m laughing, saying I wonder what the hell this means?!! and I ask the vet what he thinks the pigs symbolize and he says Oh, I don't know. So I turn back to tony-cop and say Hey, tony what year did you graduate the Police Academy because my brother was the bitch-ass instructor who probably made your life hell, so what year tony? And he replies 34. and I say What? And he repeats 34. like in 1934. And then I’m sure this guy is just so pitiful, just a sham, and now so drunk as to be almost harmless and nobody else seems to be too upset about him and the old vet says Tony’s ok—he doesn’t mean any harm. So I don’t kick his ass no way but just wander away and back to where I left the nearly hysterical distressed molested woman, but she’s gone. Gone! So I just sit down feeling like an under-challenged samurai and finish the beer I left there a half hour earlier.
Comments (238)
This is how I like my stories, real, intimate, sans the fluff but still puts me right there at the scene. Nice...I'm glad you didn't have to kick butt!
dang......so....it was thw wrong guy? or the woman just wanted attention? ????
Never leave a hot mermaid alone!
Sail on... sail on!!!
So at that point, not knowing what I might have gotten into, I start telling real loud courageous death-taunting and death-defying Col. North Contra stories to the old vet and I’m acting like Rambo hoping to be able to fight like Steven Segal if the situation gets critical.
scared me.....
Hmm...
Perhaps the moral of the story is, never listen to the siren songs of mermaids. Or never follow them to their conclusion at least.
ryc: you have the best ways of thinking on earth. I applaud you.
ya had me on pins and needles there man, u so should come drinking on st patrick's day!
*raises his glass*
Cheers!
*drinks*
--End of Line--
You know better than that . . . don't ever ever leave your drink unattended . . . those women could've dropped a Roofie in it and taken complete advantage of you.
sounds like an interesting time.
...other side of the door, huh? i don't suppose you know where the key is? i really wouldn't mind the company... it's starting to feel a little bit lonely.
what adventures... i was also a little let down.. what's wrong with those people?
Heh. I would love to hear those Col. North jungle stories. Righteous.
DSC
Damn...
I'm gone 3 weeks and come back to find you starting shit at the bar!!!!!... LOL... Thanks for posting for me at 'my place'... Xanga is jacked up tonight - so I'll post on Sunday... Love ya, Boo
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私はよく分からない理由が、この私のために遅いウェブサイト ロードしています。 問題の問題か、ある他の誰がこのをしている問題は私の最後に? 後で後でと問題がまだ存在するかどうか私は戻ってチェックします。
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ワンダフルブログ!ヤフーニュースでの周りサーフィンブラウジング間、私はそれを見つけました。ヤフーニュースに記載されて取得する方法について| 提案のヒント何かありますか?私はしばらくの間しようとしてきたが、私はそこに着くように見えることはありません! おかげ
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|あなたは使用して作業しているどのブログのプラットフォームには、心共有する旨でしょうか?私は今が、私はハード抱えている私自身のブログを開始するために探し BlogEngine間に選択を時間を/ WordPressの/ b2evolutionのとDrupalの。異なる、最もブログをようで、私が何かを探しています完全にユニークあなたデザインレイアウトがデザインとスタイルはので、私が尋ねる理由がある。 PS私の謝罪取得というのオフトピックが、私は聞いていた!
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グレートブログ!あなたのテーマのカスタムが行われていますし、それがどこかからダウンロードしましたか? |いくつかの簡単なのadjustementsとあなたのようなデザインテーマは 本当にブログを作るでしょう。 テーマにデザインあなたを持ってどこに私に知らせてください。 乾杯
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スウィートブログ!ヤフーニュースでの周りサーフィンブラウジング間、私はそれを見つけました。ヤフーニュースに記載されて取得する方法について| 提案のヒント何かありますか?私はしばらくの間しようとしてきたが、私はそこに着くように見えることはありません! 乾杯
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こんにちはと私は同じようなものを所有し、私はちょうど不思議した、スパムの多くを得る場合には発言?ので、どのようにあなたがしなければお勧めしますそれは、いずれのプラグインやあなたが何かできること防ぐ? 非常識私は最近、それが私を運転しているそんなに得るので、任意の援助非常に高く評価されている。
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鑑賞持続性あなたが入れサイトと詳細情報あなた現在。イッツ良い古い情報材料再ハッシュをそれは同じではありませんしながら、たまに中のブログに遭遇する。 素晴らしい読んでください!あなたのサイトと私は追加だ|私は、ブックマークを保存した事があるRSSフィード私のGoogleアカウントにフィード。
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私が仕事であったが、私の妹は 25|、それは40 下垂足は、ちょうどので、彼女はYouTubeの感覚することができます。私と彼女は83景色を眺めることができますのiPadは今破壊さ壊れされている。私は、これは知っているオフトピックが、私は誰かとそれを共有していた!
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作成|あなたはと考えについて考えたことがあります電子書籍他の上またはゲストオーサリングサイトのブログ?あなたが議論 とするのと同じ上の基づく私がブログを持って愛は持っている、いくつかの物語/情報を共有する。 感謝だろうあなたの作品私は自分を知っている。場合は あなたがしているでもリモートで興味を持って、お気軽にシュートを送る。
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あなたのためにあなたは記事の作家を探しているなら、私に知らせてください。 記事と私は|あなたはいくつかの本当に良い素晴らしいを持つ感じ私は良い資産になる。戻って鉱山へのリンクと引き換えにあなたのブログのためのいくつかの書き込みにあなたがこれまで負荷の一部を取るしたい場合は、私が愛と思います。 シュートしてください私に電子メール興味あれば。 よろしく!
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こんにちは|あなたはどのブログのプラットフォームには、心共有する旨でしょうか?私は今が、私はタフ抱えている私自身のブログを開始するために探し BlogEngine間に意思決定を時間を/ WordPressの/ b2evolutionのとDrupalの。異なる、最もブログをようで、私が何かを探しています完全にユニークあなたデザインレイアウトがデザインとスタイルはので、私が尋ねる理由がある。 PS申し訳というのオフトピックが、私は聞いていた!
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私はそう思いうれしい私が見つけた、あなたの検索| Askjeeve| | AOLの|ビンビン| GoogleのDiggに見て、私は研究していたが、事故|ミス|ブログは}、私は本当に優れた {仕事、素晴らしいを維持でくださいより。
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この設計は壮観!あなたは確かに読者を維持する方法を知っている。仕事あなたのウィットとあなたのビデオの間に、私はほとんど自分のブログ(!よく、ほとんど...笑)を開始するために移動されました。私は本当に|あなたが言っていた、そしてあなたがそれを提示する方法、それよりも何楽しん愛さ。あまりにもクール!
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あなたのためにあなたは を探しているなら、私に知らせてください。 投稿と私は|あなたはいくつかの本当に良い素晴らしいを持つ感じ私は良い資産になる。戻って鉱山へのリンクと引き換えにあなたのブログのための記事コンテンツ素材いくつかの書き込みにあなたがこれまで負荷の一部を取るしたい場合は、私が と思います。 シュートしてください私に電子メール興味あれば。 乾杯!
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Hey there are using WordPress for your site platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and set up my own. Do you require any coding expertise to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
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Hello! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I'm thinking about making my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions? With thanks
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