June 14, 2002
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My heart goes out to Elizabeth Smart, the young teenage girl abducted June 5th from her Federal Heights neighborhood (Salt Lake City, Utah) bedroom while her parents slept. My immediate reaction was unbelieving: How could her parents have not heard anything? But more poignantly, why didn’t she cry out for her dad at the first dreaded moment? Had that been my household, I know that my daughter would have screamed for me regardless of whether the abductor had a gun or not. She would have screamed because she would have known that I would have not only eaten the bullets in a heartbeat, but the gun and the abducting asshole’s entire arm, too, before I’d ever allow the night to steal her away. So my speculation on the Smart household soon became that her dad must have really been weak and ineffectual—and his daughter knew it—for Elizabeth not to have released a primal scream. Yet who knows? Let’s just hope we come to know by her own account soon.
Could the following advice have helped Elizabeth? Maybe...or not. Yet reflect upon it and realize that someday someone now reading it may need it:
TIPS FOR WOMEN (and others), .... ON STAYING ALIVE
The elbow is the strongest point on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, ... do it!
If you are ever thrown in the trunk of a car
Kick out the back tail lights
Stick your arm out of the hole, ... and start waving like crazy.
The driver won't see you but everybody else will.
This has saved lives!
Three reasons women are easy targets
1) Lack of Awareness.
You MUST know where you are, & what's going on around you.
2) Body Language
Keep your head up, swing your arms, stand straight up.
3) Wrong Place, ... Wrong Time
DON'T walk alone in an alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood at night.
Getting in to your car
AS SOON AS YOU GET IN YOUR CAR, ...
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE
Be aware, ... look around you, ...
look in your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
If you are parked next to a big van, ...
enter your car from the passenger door.
Look at the cars parked next to you.
If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, ...
walk back into the mall, or work,
and get a guard/policeman to walk back out with you.
(Better paranoid than dead.)
ELEVATORS
ALWAYS take the elevator instead stairs.
Do not get on an elevator if a weirdo is already on.
(Of course, bad men don't always look bad).
Do not stand back in the corners of the elevator
be near the front, by the doors, ready to get off or on.
If you get on the elevator,
and the Boogie Man gets on the next few floors, ...
get off when he gets on.
If the predator has a gun
(and you're not under his control)
ALWAYS RUN!
Police only make 4 of 10 shots, in range of 3-9 feet.
This is due to stress.
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times.
And even then, it will most likely NOT be in a vital organ.
RUN, ... !!!
Tips to save your life
if you've gotten into a violent situation
REACT IMMEDIATELY
If he abducts you in a parking lot, and is taking you to an abandoned area,
...DON'T LET HIM GET YOU TO THAT AREA.
If you're driving, ...
crash your car while still going 5 mph.
If he's driving, ...
find the right time, and stick your fingers in his eyes.
He must watch the road, so choose an unsuspecting time, and gouge him.
It is your ONLY defense!!!
While he is in shock, ... GET OUT.
(This sounds gross, but the alternative is your fault if you do not act.)
RESIST
Don't go along with him, .... run, ... if you are able
DON'T EVER GIVE UP!
You DO NOT want to get to a crime scene.
Always keep your distance when walking past strangers.
GET A CELL PHONE.
BREAK DOWNS
Avoid breakdowns, ...
by keeping your car in good working order.
If your car does break down
LOCK YOUR DOORS.
You better have a cell phone to call for help.
If it's noon on a business day,
you may want to put on your hazards, and walk to safety.
Physical defenses we can use
The EYES, ...
are the most vulnerable part of the body.
Poke him there, ... HARD.
It may be your only window of opportunity.
The KNEES, ...
Everyone's knees are very vulnerable, ...
and a swift kick in the knees will take anyone down.
A cautionary note about these things
If you do not do these things right the first time, .... you are in trouble, .... because it will only anger the individual, and that anger
will be TAKEN OUT ON YOU. I'm not saying don't attempt them (it may be your only hope),
but be forceful when you do.
If you are walking alone in the dark
(which you shouldn't be--at least in many urban situations), ....
and you find him following/chasing you
Scream, .... "FIRE!"
not, ... "Help"
People don't want to get involved when people yell "help", .... but "fire" draws attention, ....
because people are basically nosy.
RUN!
Find an obstacle, such as a parked car,
and run around it, .... like Ring Around the Rosie.
This may sound silly, ... but it's SAVED LIVES.
Our world is not as safe as we pretend, ...
and living in our fantasy worlds WILL get us in trouble.
The women who die EVERY MINUTE from violent crimes
expected to go to bed tonight, and wake up tomorrow.
BE PREPARED TO ACT
AND ACT HARD, ... !!!
ALWAYS, ALWAYS HAVE A PLAN.
Comments (238)
Very good tips.
thanks, steve. this is very helpful.
I think you forgot to mention... "kick them where it counts"
I like that yell fire advice. I hadn't heard that before.
A key point here is not to be afraid to let your very young kids know that their are people who do bad things. That's not to say we should fill them with fear about the world, but inform them about the dangers along with information like above so that they can feel safer because they are prepared.
I've told my daughter to yell, "he's not my daddy!" if anyone ever grabs her in a place where there are others around.
Maybe I should have added that she should yell, she's not my mommy, if the person was female, hmm?
But i think she's smart enough to figure that out.
Prom,
Great advice for the younger ones, of course, since a lot of bystanders might wrongly view a crying, screaming abducted youngster as simply obstinate to proper parental authority.
Good advice, NFP... ya know, one of those Worst Case Scenario books has a section on how to shake someone who is following you. Worth a read.
Great stuff, Steve..."The Way of the Warrior- 101" or "Survival - The Mean Streets"....suggestions for a college class you should teach this fall....I'm serious!
Thanks for the tips....I hope I never have to use them, but if I do, I hope I remember some of these tips.
This is all good information. Most areas offer free self-defense classes for women, which can prepare you much more than written words and ideas in case of a real attack. [shudder]
awesome, awesome advice. i know my daddy would be there quicker than I could blink....
*hands on you*
You've been caressed!!! Your turn!!
thanks for the tips. but mostly. thanks for caring.
hey thanks for the tips! i am all about women's safety! i wanna become a self defense instructor although i know virtually nothing about it!
Exccellent blog!!! You need to be prepared!!
I think if somebody had tried to snatch me from my bedroom when I was that age and I'd screamed, it would have been a toss up whether my dad could reach the shotgun before my mom just ripped the guy's throat out.
Good tips...I'll have to remember the one about yelling "fire" instead of "help."
And about your comment: of course I'm too smart for my britches. Always have been. Your point is?
These are good tips, but... We also have to recognize that there are instances when they're not exactly practical. For example, while you can say "DON'T walk alone in an alley, or drive in a bad neighborhood at night", you also have to recognize that some women live in bad neighborhoods; some women live & work in or near alleys. Prohibitive recommendations aren't practical for these women. (I, myself, have been one of "these women"...) What is practical for these women...& for all women...is to learn to trust their instincts. IMO, honed instincts--coupled w/valuable defense tactics (like screaming "fire", poking out eyes, etc)--are worth more than any well-meant prohibition.
Btw, Prometheus, excellent strategy for the younger ones...!
some very good tips there...also, if grabbed from behind, a good move is to stomp on the persons foot, alternatively to elbow them in the gut...if you can get your arms up and can reach around the guy's head, stuff your fingers up his nose and try to rip that sucker off...it works...i speak from experience!
Also remember that the leg has the most muscle mass on the body. Use it to run as suggested or KICK, KICK AND KICK AGAIN.
Then…Sail on… sail on!!!!!!
Good tips....
I hope she's ok...I wonder what happened to her. I mean she might not have screamed cause he might have knocked her out with ether or gagged her or said something like "if you scream i'll kill your whole family"
Thank you for the tips. I'm going to copy and fwd them to all my friends...male or female. Is that ok?
ryoushi,
Of course, more than "ok" --that's how they came to me (I then modified slightly), in the spirit of "let wisdom run free."
You have succeeded in scaring the heck out of me. Now I'm super scared to go to Philly. Please come to my uni and teach "The Way of the Warrior- 101" or "Survival - The Mean Streets"...
Good stuff. Makes perfect sense. I have no tolerance for people up to no good; I would have no problems kicking ass and taking names. (Or just kicking ass.)
no car...but I know how to run around one!
I'll try to keep the relevant parts of your advice in mind next time I am in SLC. I remember it as one freaky city thirty years ago. For now, just remembering to pick up a gun as I go out the door is enough to protect me from bears.
Good advice. Hopefully no one I know will ever need it.
Poke eyes? Good. Kick knees? Good (from front, so they fold over - doesn't take much, I've had to do it once)... best kick though? Right between the legs. If possible from behind... my 5c worth
This whole thing has been totally weird and unacceptible that someone can come into your home and kidnap your daughter while all of you are there. But remember...her sister was terrified enough not to tell anyone for hours...maybe the girl was protecting her family in her mind. Love and hope that this is not going to happen again
Well I don't see how any of the tips would have helped her if she was abducted from her bedroom at gunpoint...and if we're talking "primal screams" here...ie instinct...it woudn't matter if she thought her father was "weak" or not, she would have instinctively yelled for help, right? So I don't really think there's enough evidence to speculate that the father is weak or something...that just kinda came out of left field it seems.
I've come across tips like these so many times before -- (btw, this is a good all-round if modified collection) and although usually taken them seriously, normally found them too sensationalistic. On second thought just reading this though, I guess it's true -- we always think that it'll happen to somebody else, but WE're all somebody else to someone, and as you said, better paranoid than..some other (even if unlikely) alternativees. thanks.
And this seems to not be able to be said enough, for every day things like this happen...hoo-ya to those who speak it, props to those who take it to heart and remember, 'it's your life' to those who pass it by...
Good tips. Weak and innefectual? no, I think maybe unprepared and the children were scared to death.
Wow, I 'll be sure to pass these along to my friends and family here in the Netherlands. Thanks for this!
Thank you for caring...
I always hate that it's only women in self-defense courses...
The abduction thing totally freaks me out.
very good advice... I have to wonder about that hole situation myself I cant imagine any1 gettin in my house and taking one of my kids for 1 they all are tough and will scream if all elese fails and their dad and me would definatly not just let some1 walk out with our daughters or son neither would the Dog let the gunman in quietly , he'd have to shoot the dog and that for sure would wake us all up meeting him back probably with 2 guns one from me and 1 from hubby
gaa
Oh my, those are great tips! Especially the trunk one...I would not have thought of that!
it saddens and enrages me that in this day and age, women and girls are still preyed upon. self-defense tips and classes are only written for women and blame is still placed on women if something happens to them through the violent actions of others, mostly men. i am a single woman. (you shouldn't have been in that alley/park/street/neighborhood.) i can't and won't rely on the assistance of men to keep myself safe. sometimes, i have to walk, drive or be in unsafe areas because i live in them. (women still only earn 70 cents on the dollar to men. try living on a single woman's earnings.) telling me i shouldn't be in a place because i am female and it's dark or unsafe is certainly a male point-of-view. this is so ironic since today's world is largely a result of men's power and control. too bad tolerance and open-mindedness aren't embraced enough to change the world to a place i can take a walk at night and not be afraid.
i thank you for your concern and tips. i'm getting off my soapbox now.
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