One weird 24 hours.
Yesterday evening, feeling okay, I decided to run 5 miles to maintain some fitness. One quarter way through, I detected a wrist sprain. Where the fuck did that come from? Half way through I detected right foot trouble—a pang—what the fuck again? Three-quarters way through, the left foot starts aching—five miles—and I’ve run marathons where such symptoms never manifest. So I get home, untie my shoes, and…my feet feel like they’ve been run over by a truck. I think back: there was no damn truck, but I swear my feet feel broken and I’m hobbling on my heels. So unable to walk, I lay down. And immediately launch into an uncontrollable jittering convulsive-like fever that lasted for an hour. I can’t even remember much of my thought process except I did have one thought: “I guess my last blog is the last.” So this is the way the blog ends, this is the way the blog ends, not with a bang but... (with one lonely last eProp?!) But I shivered and shook like an overflowing spring brook. So what do you think, was it the Ebola virus? Nothing to worry about, right?
Truth is, I think I was bit by my second alien bug. I blogged about the first bite more or less a year ago (But since Xanga's Search isn't working I can't locate that blog to hyperlink it.) Yet I believe that this bug was trying to trip me toward the grave. Bastard.
So today, how do I feel? So fucking anti-American as you (or I) would never believe. I am so fucking pissed off with this whole economic one-uppance bullcrap of ever-more discrepant wealth (shouldn’t we all burst into tears because the stock market lost 2%?), and the political posturing to assign blame for this national intelligence fuck-up (missing terrorists) or that missing child (Florida welfare), and with the damn institutions all (FAA with their relaxations of restrictions over ballparks, ballparks for unilaterally deciding to dump “America the Beautiful” during the 7th inning-stretch, www.connors.com for advertising that “all my friends who died on 9-11, would say the same thing: * go back to work* ) for lulling us back to a narcotized consumer quiescence. Business as usual? No, fuck you bastards. In my heart, business will never ever be again *as usual* I’m pissed, you’ve all let me down, and I won’t accept your militaristic jargonized self-serving lip-service to patriotism in order to lull me into some anti-recessionary correction. Fuck all of you and your thank-god-for the-terror-boogeyman bliss.
Oh yeah, I’m angry. I’m pissed. And as wary now as I was on 9-11/9-12. But now not just wary of further terrorist attacks. I’m as equally wary now of the American government’s subtle gambits towards the erosion of our liberties. Read my email? Fuck you. Don’t even bother reading my email, assholes, for I’ll blog it all right here: Snatch away my liberty in the interest of *Security* and the terrorists you have previously feared will seem like model citizens compared to the wrath that I’ll unleash upon your wannabe-Leviathan. I am your fucking quintessential guerilla fighter, you assholes, and I’ve been that in-waiting for the last 20 years of my life. And like Jefferson said: “every now and then”, didn’t he? Every now and then. So instead of having me and others recite passages from the Declaration of Independence, the Federalist papers, and the Constitution in defense of radical governmental re-invention, why don't we all rededicate ourselves to fighting terrorism outright, and not to re-establishing some psychotically-addictive “business as usual” —which in times of immense duress requires a patronizing totalitarian relief from “distress”. Otherwise, by the heart that beats in me, I have a life to give.
Fuck. Now does that qualify for a rant? Just a few more thoughts…
I really believe that the current “revelation” from the CIA (Newsweek) that it was following two of the 9-11 bombers but “let up” is disinformation devised to make American citizens and terrorists likewise believe that all we have to do to is “coordinate intelligence” to make us strong again. But beware because more domestic intelligence implies less domestic freedom. Nonetheless, it is one hell of a self-condescending ruse to destabilize the terrorists’ confidence in their own well-woven shroud of secrecy.
I think terrorists may figure out that the best prelude to the next attack is pre-occupying fire-fighters from across the country with some spectacularly huge regional forest fires threatening noted wilderness landmarks. In the past, when there has been a significant regional forest fire threat of a large and devastating magnitude, firefighters from all over the country have responded en-masse. Would they do so now? And, if so, wouldn’t that leave urban centers less prepared? And if they don’t, will we say Sayanora to the wilderness?
Oh yes, and the best way to fight terrorism? Reach out to your neighbors, hold hands as compatriots, and as Siddhartha Gautama urged: “hold to the truth within your heart, as if to the only lamp.” Naïve? Since when is spirituality naïve? Ha!
And if the CIA really wants to stop terrorism at its source, it needs to find a way to recreate “Flower Power”, “A Generation of Love” and seed its mind-tripping psychedelics into the youth of the Middle-East. And if that nascent anti-terrorist strategy should get out of hand and infect the earth like an alien bug-bite, well then, fuck-it, bite me again.
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