December 25, 2001
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So I’m at a holiday party (family-type) last night and the hostess coyly observes me not eating anything and she says “Aren’t you going to eat? Everyone has to eat at this party! ”
“Maybe after this beer,” I replied, toasting with the bottle in my hand.
Or the next beer…or the next beer…
Just before I was about to leave, she again insisted, “Didn’t you eat anything? Are you one of these patriarchal types who just drinks, drinks, drinks ??”
“I’ll grab something on the way out,” I placated her. And I did—a near full 12-ounce glass of Baileys Irish Crème. Don’t you just love it when peeps put their liquor out so you can properly self-medicate?!
So was I a scream at the party? Hell, I just sat there motionless, buzzed, stoned, for almost a half hour, floating away with nothing to say. Until a 9-year prodigy who wants only books for Christmas approached me and asked me to play chess. "Chess?" I looked into her sweet, intelligent brown eyes and recognized *A Quest* --she was stalking her prey and she chose me because…because…I never let her daddy win at the game and how she does love daddy. Yes: Revenge!
So I accepted the challenge but warned her: “When I was your age, I was reading chess books and memorizing the openings of the grandmasters.” Ouch. Ouch. She was very good, with a strong grip on the fundamentals and able to see developments a couple of moves ahead. So it became very hard work as I had to expand my strategy to encompass a number of moves beyond the horizon of her chess-vision, something like 4 or 5 moves ahead. Ouch. Now her daddy wants me dead.
But it’s okay because after I slaughtered her at chess and extinguished her desire to ever play the game again (okay, so now I’m exaggerating) , I dragged out my laptop and let her play a couple of funner, seasonal games I had downloaded for free from the internet.
Many of you know of Elf Bowling, I’m sure, already. But for those who don’t, both versions I and II are available from Nstorm and both are equally hilariously irreverent (though I'm partial to version I--it's more christmassy). Just watching the elves antics and listening to their comments will cave your day in with laughter—guaranteed.
On the other hand, one of the strangest, eeriest games I’ve ever seen comes in a small exectuable called *snowcraf*
It’s only what it seems to be—a snowball fight between opposing gangs of cuddly, giggly pre-teens—and yet…and yet…well, just try it and see if you don’t remark the same as the 9-year prodigy who played it and then gleefully pronounced: “That’s evil.”
(p.s., I downloaded and checked both for viruses—they’re clean)
Comments (206)
A "evil" snowball fight - yes, a very appropriate game for you to download...LMAO...enjoy it for the remaining hours of the holiday season, my notforprophet......gotta go, think that's my cell phone NOT ringing.... ......
Oh... heh. Yeah, Elf Bowling is a big hit here this year again too. I don't like the new version, but still love the version from last year. I always hit the deer when it comes out and my girls groan, and stare at me like I'm horrid, because I do it on purpose. Am I mean? (evil?) heh... I have a harder time hitting the rabbit and the frog, though I have on occasion.
Merry Christmas to you. You did eat something, didn't you? Man cannot live by beer alone. *grins*
Sweet Dreams
I am going to try both those games!! I love it!! Merry Christmas my friend!!!
too cool.. my hubby would have loved beer at our christmas gatherings.. LOL..
I love Snowcraf! It was a big hit around my office a year or two ago. Let's just say that I became very adept a pelting those little buggers...
Elf bowling is new to me, though. I'll have to try it. Happy Holidays, man (drunk or otherwise)...
he he, you always have your laptop with you to just pull out?
I'd like to test my mettle against you with a game of chess sometime.
What do you say?
I LOVED elf-bowling the first time I ever tried it...
Merry Christmas to you, good sir.
Hehehe! We did the Elf Bowling.
And a Froliche Weinachten to you, too! I have both games on my laptop, as well as many other seasonal games; all free, downloaded from the internet. If you're still in the holiday mood, check these out:
Nikolaus Express 2000: a German game/screensaver combo...Fly Santa's sleigh...watch out for antennas and other obstacles!
Sint Nicolaas: a Dutch kiddie platform game...the only kind in which I'm halfway adept.
Passage 3 Christmas Edition: I'm not sure how to describe this one, other than to say that it's an addictive puzzle game from Germany.
You don't have to speak German or Dutch to figure out the games...they're pretty straightforward. If in doubt, you can translate the page(s) using Babel Fish. I have lots of other pleasant little diversions, too...let me know if you want more. Toodles.
Tee
You trashed a little girl at chess???? How evil is that??? GOD, even I LET MY NEPHEW WIN SOMETIMES! and I'm just pure evil in a blouse.
Let's play a game over xanga.
1. c4
Merry Christmas!
You are always welcome to come and sit by my fireplace, listen to nice music, and make love to your sensuous dream woman. Wishing you much happiness for the holidays and the best of luck for the New Year!
With my best regards,
LoriBlue
I like the drink, then I have know problem rolling in the snow.
those games are so LAST YEAR! ha ha ha i had those lats year and they were sooooooo fun!
well, you've taught her that life is hard....no matter how talented you are, there'll be always a bigger fish ready to eat you
yes barney, and Prometheus and freebirdgonewild would seem to be those fish--hahaha!
that's the key... ya gotta break their will while they are still young, making them pliable receptacles for future mind control and voter conditioning experiments.
oh shit, did I say that out loud?
LMAO....yep, Seanmeister, you did and we all "heard" it......
I hope you had a good one...
Thank you for slaughtering the girl at chess. Unfortunately a lot of children in this world are never taught to lose at something graciously, so your game might help her start learning that way of life. And of course I'm sure the games are hilarious. Merry Christmas!
Cool fading eProps! Hey, you would love my parties... I'm not much of a cook, so there never is a whole lot of food, but plenty to drink. I've slaved in the past to put together nice finger food... it just gets trashed and I never eat any myself after looking at it so much while making it... *cheers* Happy New Year! ~Xanga's Irish Heart
I love Elf Bowling! My friend found it about 2 or 3 years ago, and I was seriously obsessed with it! Scary, I know! Have a good one
elf bowling. downloaded it last christmas. so much fun!
I wouldn't be soi sure that I would beat you or her.
You sound like my uncle....
I already have Elf Bowling but I will need to check out the other one. I am always up for a good snowball fight!
entertaining reading.
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Hey! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog. Is it hard to set up your own blog? I'm not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I'm thinking about setting up my own but I'm not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Thanks
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With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of exclusive content I've either written myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my permission. Do you know any solutions to help stop content from being stolen? I'd certainly appreciate it.
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My programmer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he's tryiong none the less. I've been using WordPress on numerous websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard great things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress posts into it? Any help would be really appreciated!
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