So I’m at a holiday party (family-type) last night and the hostess coyly observes me not eating anything and she says “Aren’t you going to eat?  Everyone has to eat at this party! ”

“Maybe after this beer,” I replied, toasting with the bottle in my hand.

Or the next beer…or the next beer…

Just before I was about to leave, she again insisted, “Didn’t you eat anything?  Are you one of these patriarchal types who just drinks, drinks, drinks ??”

“I’ll grab something on the way out,” I placated her.  And I did—a  near full 12-ounce glass of Baileys Irish Crème.  Don’t you just love it when peeps put their liquor out so you can properly self-medicate?!

So was I a scream at the party?  Hell, I just sat there motionless, buzzed, stoned, for almost a half hour, floating away with nothing to say.  Until a 9-year prodigy who wants only books for Christmas approached me and asked me to play chess.  "Chess?"  I looked into her sweet, intelligent brown eyes and recognized *A Quest* --she was stalking her prey and she chose me because…because…I never let her daddy win at the game and how she does love daddy.  Yes: Revenge!

So I accepted the challenge but warned her: “When I was your age, I was reading chess books and memorizing the openings of the grandmasters.”   Ouch.  Ouch.  She was very good, with a strong grip on the fundamentals and able to see developments a couple of moves ahead.  So it became very hard work as I had to expand my strategy to encompass a number of moves beyond the horizon of her chess-vision, something like 4 or 5 moves ahead.  Ouch.  Now her daddy wants me dead.

But it’s okay because after I slaughtered her at chess and extinguished her desire to ever play the game again  (okay, so now I’m exaggerating) , I dragged out my laptop and let her play a couple of funner, seasonal games I had downloaded for free from the internet.

Many of you know of Elf Bowling, I’m sure, already.    But for those who don’t, both versions I and II are available from Nstorm and both are equally hilariously irreverent (though I'm partial to version I--it's more christmassy).  Just watching the elves antics and listening to their comments will cave your day in with laughter—guaranteed.

On the other hand, one of the strangest, eeriest games I’ve ever seen comes in  a small exectuable called *snowcraf*
    It’s only what it seems to be—a snowball fight between opposing gangs of cuddly, giggly pre-teens—and yet…and yet…well, just try it and see if you don’t remark the same as the 9-year prodigy who played it and then gleefully pronounced: “That’s evil.”

(p.s., I downloaded and checked both for viruses—they’re clean)