September 19, 2001

  • "Everything has changed."  "Everything is different now."


    I'm sure you have heard these words spoken in the last week.  In fact, most of us have spoken them ourselves.  And I don't dispute their veracity at all.


    But my narrower question here is: What has changed for you about your relation to the Xanga community as a result of the changing world we now find ourselves in?


    I find that I'm now seeing myself as less a part of a Xanga community unto itself and more as a part of a people and as a part of humanity.  So I'm feeling less like I'm a *Xangeroo* and more like I'm a man, a man needing to create and defend civilization--and more like an American.


    It seems in months prior, Xanga was serving me as a surrogate for the rich community I sought in my heart that seemed largely unavailable in the world otherwise around me.  But now that seems to have changed and the world around is beckoning me back to live, to love, to serve--ourselves.


    Xanga remains a part of that world, an important outlet for me into that world. But like a bride led to the altar by her father, so do I now feel ushered out of this matrix, this dreamland cybermatrix of scintillating fascinations.  It seems that I have lost my cyber-innocence.  And I now find myself appositely mortal.


    And though I intend to continue to participate in Xanga, and perhaps will become even more prolific than previously, this odyssey which is life has called me out.  And I must go where it directs me to go.

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