July 4, 2001
-
fourth of july.
i’ve counted
six thousand and twenty-six firecracker’s
boom! already.
boom! boom!
got some drunken girl next door
running out naked every hour on the hour
firing off in indiscriminate directions
a thirty round clip from
an M2 submachine gun.
shit! someone might
call the cops
exceptin’ her husband,
who’s the chief of police,
is laying out on the front lawn
passed out in uniform,
all vomited and pissed,
a burnt-out sparkler jutting
majestically from his mouth.
ka—boom! a massive gunpowdered steel-nosed
acme rocket pierces aluminum-sided wall
and explodes in brilliant festivity in my living room.
i sit studiously considering the roman
of this mutant roman candle thinking
…somewhere tacitus turning in his grave.
but what the hell! screw tacitus!
it’s the fourth!
the day when all good, patriotic
maniacs of America are proudly lunaticing
their minds in uproarious prankstering merriment
and deep dragon volcano booms!
singing all the while:
remember Lexington! remember Concord!
remember to buy more beer!
hell, yes! hell, yes!
and i, too, a maniac!
a real fucking yankee doodle maniac!
up now with sufficient wine
and out to the backyard
with assorted red, white, and blue cherry bombs,
mosaicing Old Glory in potent resplendence
my prize Ohioan humus rose garden.
then ignite! and:
earth and flower petals
in a grand simultaneous-exploding jack—a—room! delight.
o, joyous good American smoke and dust!
and i, then, dancing the earth with the drunken tears
of a flag-loving, fist-waving patriot, screaming:
jack—a—room! jack—a—room!
may you ever boom!, America
long may you boom!
Comments (465)
I have a couple pipe bombs i want to set off. only problem is any fireworks/explosives/fires are an automatic 300 dollar fine (minimum) damn this dry weather!
what a neighborhood. Now I feel kind of stupid complaining about the guy who set off some fireworks at 5 AM Sunday morning, woke up every dog in town.
Happy 4th. Have a great one.
Sail on Patriot, sail on...
Oh my gosh. This is f*#@*&$ brilliant! Love your blogging!
Congratulations!
you are not exaggerating NFP?......its too funny....happy 4th of july ...
deja vu!

I could swear I've read this before.
Good blog, though, still!
"slightly cummings-esque, with a gentle afternote of woodnymphs bifungulating gently on a summer afternoon." ha ha
beautiful.
Yeah ... (nods quietly to self ...) Long may you boom ...
It stirred MY patriotic heart!
Four score and... wait no, that's not it
Congress shall make no law...
Wait. How did the declaration start again?
Oh yeah, Long may we boom....
Thanks, guy. Hand me a beer, and watch out for flying bullets.
Well at least you had a reason to be pissed this time!
Yeah I think we should have a holiday for week one year. To do what ever you want to do. drink, travel, drink, read, drink, see family and drink. sounds disfunctional, what do u think?
Deja Vu!
Ok, that's 1-1 in updating!
Nice! I didn't think you were talkin bout AZ since firecrackers for licensees only... but then you mentioned guns.... hrrmmm!
Anyways, Happy Fourth of July to you too!
And you counted the stars!
Un-phreaking-believable! And might I add waaaay cool too!
Happy 4th of July!
...Happy Fourth?
This amused me! Good job!
Happy 4th one day late? umm sorry. It's the thought that counts right?
How come my parties on the 4TH don't sound like your bashes? I partied with real live rednecks. Hell, they had tractor parts and old cars in the field. Plenty of beer, steamed crabs, and such BUT NO BOOM!
I laughed myself silly...looking forward to next year.
Terri/Mystical2
and you were wondering what to do with a girl like me? what about a guy like you? what was that comment all about anyway. ciao
Blah, I was working the 4th. Not that I'm all that patriotic and not that I missed any fireworks (since it rained). I guess it's just the idea of working on a national holiday that gets me. Nicely written.
--Seonaid
notforprophet
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