April 13, 2001
-
Of course, you will never read this. It is obvious that you will never read my posts again--so I can say anything I want, right? Okay!
I love you! I hate you. I love you! I hate you. I love you! I hate you. I love you!
There. Hey, this is great having a friend that doesn't respond! I can fantasize anything I want: like, for every unread blog of friendship, God takes a year off of my purgatory. Or that for every unread beauteous word expressed (like a flower blooming in a forest forever unseen), the entire world is secretly enriched.
Yes. That's it. So I will write a hundred ditties for you--all going unread. Then years hence, as fates work out, I will publish "The Unread Ditty Book" and everyone will go "Aw!!!" You will even read the book (though you never read these posts) and go "Aw!!" and realize they were all written for you. And you will run around telling everyone else going "Aw!!!" that these ditties were actually written for you, and they will go "like 'Right'." But it will be there right in the introduction, a dedication, "For -you- , ditties galore!" And it will be an awesome sight!
Now don't bother me. I'm busy thinking up some new ditties. This is important work!
I love you! I hate you. I love you! I hate you. I love you! I hate you. I love you!
Comments (248)
"Aw!!!" lol
This sounds like a serious love/hate relationship. Those are tough, they feel like love, they fester like hate, up and down and all over the place, makes for an exciting ride. After a while though, you have to jump off, it gets to be too much.
Pity your friend will never read their ditties, or ever know the Truth, pity that.
Oops too late. I read it. read what? it. what? it. what? it.
nope, not gonna read it
Let me know when the book comes out... I don't want to miss ditties galore
Hey, can I give the eProps to Alice? I just LOVED her response!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO
Can't you just mail agrochick78 a hammer? It is her isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Still Happy Easter and that
toreibjo,
I can't respond! I'm too drunk to discern. I was just releasing! And like after an exhalement of exhausted air, I seek now only to inhale deeply once again!
Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in!
can i just skip the entry and read the ditties
ms_chif4u,
*always hearing in my head: ms_chif4me!*
Alice is cute, isn't she?!!
Oh you nasty boy! You've been down at The Flats again haven't you?
LOL
Glad you made it home at least!
ROFL and all there is to it..
..discern me here and discern me there..
What happened to comprehend? I cant possibly discern the difference..
ms_chif4u,
*always hearing in my head: ms_chif4me!*
Alice is cute, isn't she?!!
Don't forget the breathing. I'm glad that when the book comes out, I won't have to go "Aw" because I know that a) you don't love me, b) you don't hate me, and c) the ditties weren't for/about me.
Why do you have to ignore me like that???
LOL
What are you trying to say NFP? You need some mayhem in your life? 4me, 4u, 2u4u, 4me2u, I know....ms_chif4-2 not three or four.
Actually, I think Alice is beautiful and will reserve *cute* for describing puppies.
When am I going to get some ditties??? I promise to touch them.
You have completely lost it. {v} Rebel
I think I'll buy the book. Not read it but lie and say I did.
Then I'll mean to see the movie but wait until it comes on HBO so I can watch it for free. Then I'll bitch that the book is better. The book is always better you know.
Coming soon to a multiplex near you!
My Ditties Staring Paul (Pee Wee Herman) Reubens
ROFLMAO! Pete
*not looking at blog......
looks like something crawled up Juliett's butt & died..........hope it wasn't Romeo.....
*eyes still averted.......
Oh so entertaining! I haven't had ditties to read for a long time. Thanks for lightening my load.
I remember the ditties we sang around the kegs in the fifties can you do those ggl.
Whats with Juliet..quick..someone give me a rock..Im feeling nasty today!
Juliet_A was insulting without merit and her presence has ceased on this blog.
Oh damnit! I always miss the controversial postings and comments. They get deleted too bloody quickly. (Is it a time zone thing?)
I'd really appreciate it if, in future, folk messaged me to say "Hey Holly, I'm about to delete something juicy from my site! Come have a look see!" Then I could rush over, read the naughty posting, suck air between my teeth, shake my head and make disapproving noises. And later I could act smug and knowledgeable when latecomers turn up to whine: "Oh damnit! I always miss the controversial postings and comments..."
Juliet_A!
Inherit me_rit!
ROFL!
Holly!!!! I just got an e-mail from nfp that he is going to delete your comment at 5AM GMT.
{snicker}
Pete
..Steve is one of the most sincere, and kind humans beings I have ever been lucky enough to know..and for any of you to assume anything bad about this human being..just makes me sad for you..not being able to know him in such light...
I love you...I hate you...I use you...Awww....thanks for the comment...Where are my comments, you fickle ingrates? Thank You! F'k You! Please accept me....Please leave me alone...Xanga folk, why have you forsaken me...Why do I care so much?...Why can't I give too?
Gee... I know this feeling well. For all the blogs I have written for a particular person, only for another person to think it was for him *sigh* Then to get insulted for it too? To hell with that. Keep that finger on the delete button when needed, hon
Is Juliet_A related to Bianca?
Hey my monies on *Holly* being NFP dream girl....just played female detective here and she hasn't commented for awhile on his blogsss...yeah will not even take 2-1..its a dead cert:-P
WHOO WHO I WIN..I WIN...Just read Holly's entry ..he even sent her an invitation to see it...she of course being polite as some of us brits are...did I say me ...no I didn't lol She smudged over the fact that it was meant for her awwwwwww {v}
THIS BUD'S FOR YOU
LOVE AND ( I am not sure you need LIGHT)-STARWOLF
Please can I have some of whatever SallyAnn is smoking?
He he Holly me thinks you protest to much....:-P
Holly,
I thought my smoke was kewl for yu. Do you really want to make a triangle out of this with Sallyann
??
agrochick78,
my heart for my heroine!
Wildheart,
I've invited Juliet_A to re-post her invective, but I believe she's quite busy advocating masturbation on her own blog. I don't know what her tolerance is, but I suspect that she will eventually get a moment to give my offer a consideration. If only I could ruse her into believing that commenting on my post is actually a form of masturbation, perhaps I could ensure her chronicity.
Triangles are passé. How about we form a ziggurat?
I read her blog...very interesting, considering that I grew up in an Air Force town....I had no idea that so much jacking off was going on in Lubbock.........*l*....probably why they closed the base.....
you were in the military.....just what is the Pentagon's position on matsurbation?.......is it a don't ask/don't tell policy?
This was even funnier to read a second time.
Holly,
A zig-zagging ziggurat sounds most intriguing. The aesthetic tactility of complex geometries has always enthralled me. Especially if it is a complex of stacked-up shacks for shacking.
Wildheart,
I believe the military's official position on masturbation is that you are subject to punitive discipline if you injure yourself and become unfit to perform your military duties (same as getting a sunburn!). Hence, suicidal masturbation is strictly forbidden upon pain of death and masochistic self-abuse is floggable . Frequent masturbation is discouraged (you shouldn't have that much free time in your day away from duty!) but tolerated. However, frequent flyer miles are not issued. Actually, while stationed in Honduras, the male and female personnel shared the same row of attached makeshift outhouses. Offering no audible privacy and sometimes failing to provide even sufficient visible privacy (gaping holes in the walls), I can recall several instances of hot chicks fully pleasuring themselves in a coincidently adjacent stall. Hrm..wonder what they remember about me
??? !!
LOL! nfp, you're the only guy I know who takes three sentences to say "yes"!
According to popular reports that I responded to this blog that says "I love you, I hate you, don't even read this", and somehow I ended up leaving a comment even more insulting than the original post? I wonder what it was?
Can anyone refresh my memory?
You're obviously too well-scrubbed to be refreshed. It sounds like even if you were reminded, you'd either not recognize or not own up to your own words. Actually, your current feigned complacency sits just right with me: denying nothing, admitting nothing-so lusciously pseudo-litigative yet palpably docile. Stay nice, it may even rub off on ya! Or cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war.
For Juliet_A (the first thing that comes to mind),
You're So Vain
Artist: Carly Simon
You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain (so vain)
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you? Don't you?
I just want to thank you NFP and Juliet_A. Ya'll have me laughing so hard at the pettiness that I forgot my problems. Hey.. can I hire you guys to do this again say next Monday? Makes the day go smoother.
MaggieGirl,
No problem. But Juliet_A will have to cooperate...I mean not cooperate...I mean agree to not cooperate...or disagree on cooperating. Of course, all the above will work also.
MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
(whatever that means)
Does this count as cooperating? I have an even more evil laugh, if you want...
You didn't miss much. It was simply a mental exercise, demonstrating that you can flame a person, accusing them of some mysterious wrongdoing without any evidence, and that people will join in and show their mob mentality based on your word alone.
he loves me, he loves me not...
And in sequence, I hate you.
notforprophet
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