April 2, 2001

  •  Attention Deficit Hyperactivity what(?)  dreadpirate


    In your clinical comment in my previous post, you remind me of a lumberjack I once encountered at a highly impromptu party in a broken-in cabin in the upper peninsula of Michigan a few years back. Strangers, we had all coalesced spontaneously at a bar somewhere between Alpena and Altoona one Saturday night.  Actually, I had been camping in a nearby forest up there all week and had taken my canoe (yes, dreadpirate, my own captain I was!) into town to tip drinks and enjoy a little non-wildlife company.  Well, at the bar, as we 10 or 12 strangers started to banter it up and mutual discussions ensued,  someone said they knew “someone” with a nearby cabin stocked with lot’s of booze and comfortable accommodations.  So as a loosely partying horde, we unanimously decided to move the whole feast.   But when we all arrived at the cabin by assorted vehicles,  it turned out that the owner was not home (or amongst us).  So someone else (not me, I swear not me) just decided instead to crawl in a window to unlock the cabin door.   It seems that the assemblage of revelers included a motley and cantankerous bunch (a secretary, a dancer, an oyster pearl salesman from Detroit, maybe even a sailor, etc. …oh yeah, me, too…all too similar to a pirate ship's crew, no doubt), two of whom had serious passions for biking.  As it turned out, however, these two had fiery passions for different bikes--one a Harley (hero), the other a Honda (sap).  One challenging vociferous boast led to another until, *wham*,  commotion commenced.  Things would have gone to hell, except for a short 5'2" incredibly stocky, muscled lumberjack whom I happened to be talking to about “intellectual matters” (he tagged me as  the “resident scholar”) at the time.  On seeing the birthing ruckus, he excused himself from my company, flung himself in between both 6' plus road wailers, reached up, grabbed both of them by their collars, and lifted both of them off the ground.  Then turning first to one and then the other, he said to them in the classical *no uncertain terms*: "I don't want any problems here, okay?  I'm going let go of the both of you so you can work things out together, alright?"  Then putting both of them down, shocked, they both wandered, mumbling, together…away.  The lumberjack then turned to me beaming and said; "Did you see that?  That’s interpersonal relations. I learned that in my first class in college, Psychology 101!"    Right!  If I hadn't feared his uncertain reaction, I would have rolled on the floor and laughed! 

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