I had a spontaneous kung-fu moment last evening.  And it was extreme enough to throw my back back into convulsion.  As a result, I now have a gelatinous-like balloon on my lower back under my skin (An implant?!  No, there is no nipple on my back.)   And I don't have a pair of pants or shorts large enough to cover and zip myself up.  The only item I can find now to wear without restriction is a pair of pajamas.  I'm glad that our culture tolerates public pajama wearing because that's how I'll likely debut today.