March 17, 2006

  • I've never put music on my blog before, but the X-Files Theme song has been constantly coursing in my head for the last day and my hope is that if I externalize here that I will cease to internalize it "here": *sticks finger in mouth and gestures as if pulling a trigger*


    It all started yesterday while running 7 miles in Dreamland and feeling more alone than I have felt, well, since forever.  While thus running and about halfway through, I started to reflect on all the good things in my life that nurture me, keep me alive, and found: so little.  "How can that be?" I wondered.  We're all nurtured, aren't we?  But the short list that screamed at me was: 'the Sun, nature-weather, my daughter's daughterly love, and a non-descript alien energy form.'  What the fuck?  What is 'a non-descript alien energy form'?  And that's when I realized that the X-Files theme had been saturating me subliminally for at least the entire run.  Just then becaming liminal and remaining so since.



    After the run, the distinct feeling of being a Roman soldier, a general, took hold of me.  I surveyed the cemetery hill I was upon, found a tree in the sunlight, and took under it laying down in the Sun, closing my eyes...letting the Sun nurture me, feeling truly ancient and mystery-bound, while continuing to listen, to listen, ... listen.

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