March 19, 2003
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So let’s say your Saddam and you’ve been told to leave Dodge by first light (Baghdad time) or else…
How would you spend your last night before the Showdown and Shootout at the Baghdad Corral?
1) In a local saloon drinking hard liquor, making the girls happy, and playing hands of poker.
2) The same as above but with ‘additional’ aces up my sleeve.
3) Watching CNN News to catch the very latest developments with the faint hope that North Korea goes ballistic first.
4) Making calls to France, Germany, and Russia to thank them for their futile efforts but to inform them that the ‘secret deals’ will no longer be honored.
5) In an underground firing range pumping George Bush targets full of explosive rounds.
6) Playing with a Ouija board and asking Micky Mouse for guidance and, hopefully, victory passes to DisneyWorld.
7) Hanging out with Bin Laden since they haven’t found him yet, so his pad is probably safe.
8) Running around a cemetery since any angel of death seeing me would mistake me for nfp and thus pass me over.
9) Riding around Baghdad at 120-140 mph in a Spyder sports car—always wanted to do that and this might be the last chance.
10) At a masquerade ball dressed up as a battered Cinderella while everyone else is required to pose either as Saddam the Great or Bin (Laden) the Beautiful!
Or…_________________________________________________.
Any better suggestions will be sent along to Mr. SoDamn Insane, but hurry—time's running out.
Comments (150)
Writing memoirs on how I raised the ire of not one but two american presidents...
Hmmmmmm I'll have to think about this one.
Me thinks he'll prolly be spending some private time in the bathroom playin yanky my wanky
.
I'll wager he isn't even in Bhagdad. We can just take over the city and install a new government. Would be nice and clean. zera
he'll probably pour chemicals on innocent children and then blame it on us.
tough call, but #8 makes me wonder...
hmm.... first of all I'd decree all stores to become Target stores....
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Or, Cruise for chicks in Spyder sports car with Bin Laden.
playing poker with some North Koreans - the winnings being weapons of mass destruction, of course.
Definitely hangin' with Bin Laden...maybe at a strip club watching some chick named Cinnamon flaunting her stuff!!
~E
don't think he's going anywhere above ground. so stock piling imported wine in the elaborate underground bunker/tunnels and listening to my favorite tunes!... i'd make a lousy dictator! :-p
Somehow I see him blustering around making sure everyone realizes that he is the dictator and then heading for cover while all his citizens suffer the slings and arrows of war. He is the all time Bully
call up nfp and see if we can have a slice of cake and cup of kool-aid in the cemetary and read each other poems. *blushes*
Plastic surgery to look like Ronald Reagan?
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