notforprophet

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Survival junkie. I’ve once again become a survival junkie. No, not watching that damned program—what is it, Survivor?—I’ve never even seen that program. I mean seeking out, studying, and mastering techniques that could possibly be life-saving or life-enhancing in a bad or worst-case scenario. Of course, 9-11 and the war on Terror has prodded and nudged me back into this mindset. But long before that, I had military training that required a survivalist outlook. And before that, I was a wilderness freak whose idea of a summer afternoon well-spent was hiking through the countryside and identifying new, edible and poisonous plants to eat and avoid eating (respectively ).

Most people teaching themselves survival techniques tend to pick up “tips” and collate them into the “tip organizer” in their heads. Sometimes that’s all you can do. For instance, when suddenly encountering a mountain lion, making yourself look bigger than you are by raising your arms and flashing clothing (like a mating peacock spreading its feathers) to intimidate the cougar is probably a “tip” you’d never really want to practice.

Yet with other techniques, if you’re going to really master them, and you have the opportunity, it’s better to throw yourself in a controlled simulation of the emergency and practice thus making the knowledge experiential. Such might be the case with fist-fighting and learning how to avoid, and if necessary, take blows through sparring. Always move into straight or roundhouse punches (to force a miss and reduce the impact if hit) and counter-punch with a roundhouse or uppercut. But always move away from uppercuts and counter with an uppercut. Spar Spar. Practice. Practice.

But I’m confused about whether the following scenario (from www.worstcasescenarios.com ) should be filed into the “tip organizer” or played-out in a safe setting before the exigency acutally arises. What do you think?

How to Survive If You Wake Up Next to Someone Whose Name You Don’t Remember

At Her Place

1. Do not panic. Evidence of your partner’s name exists somewhere nearby. Your task will be to find it before she awakens, or before she starts any sort of meaningful conversation.

2. Get up and go to the bathroom. The bathroom is a normal place to visit first thing in the morning, and it is also a place where you might discover her name.

3. Look through the medicine cabinet for prescription medicines with her name on the label.

4. Sort through magazines, looking for subscription labels with her name and address.

5. Go through a wastebasket to find discarded junk mail addressed to her.

6. Return to the bedroom. If she is awake, ask her to make coffee for you. Use the time alone to search the bedroom for evidence. Look for: wallet, checkbook, ID or name bracelet, photo album, scrapbook, business cards (a stack of cards, not just one), or luggage labels. If she is sleeping, look for these and other items throughout the house.

Be Aware

Try to find at least two items with the same name to be certain that you have identified her, unless the name on one item rings a bell.

At Your Place

1. Use terms of endearment when addressing her. Do not guess at her name. Use acceptable terms of endearment:

* Honey/Sweetie/Cutie

* Darling/Baby/Sugar

* Beautiful/Sexy/Gorgeous

2. Unless you are certain you have ample time, do not go through her belongings. If your partner is showering, you can count on having at least a few minutes of privacy to search through her belongings. Otherwise, do not risk it—it would be far more embarrassing to be caught searching through her possessions than to admit you cannot remember her name. (She may be in the same predicament.)

3. Ask leading questions while making small talk. Fishing for information is risky and can backfire by calling attention to what you are trying to do. However, if you feel you can pull it off, try to trick her into revealing her name:

* While getting dressed, pull out your own ID and ask her if she thinks that your hair is better now or in the picture. Laugh about how silly you used to look. Ask if she likes the picture on her license. (She may think that you are checking her age.)

* Ask her if she ever had a nickname. She might say, “No, just [Name].”

* Ask her how she got her name.

4. As she is leaving, give her your business card and ask for hers. If she does not have a business card, ask her to write her vital information on yours. Tell her you may want to send her a little surprise. Do not forget to send something later in the week and make sure that you spell her name correctly.