December 31, 2001

  • My friend Laura is playing games.  No wonder I never see here anymore.


    So what's this about a penguin named Kevin in space?


    I swear that even a zoo animal leads a more exciting life than me.


    I just dropped someone off this morning at work and then kept riding around because there was nothing more thrilling to do...


    *randomly canvassing the street matrices*


    *turns down an alley*


    Ah! A pair of kittens huddled in the middle of the road!


    *gets out of truck to play with kitties, they run off terrified of approach*


    Oh!  They're starving!


    *throws only food in truck--popcorn--out of windows for kitties; kitties think the popcorn kernels are projectiles and run for their lives*


    Eeek!


    *resumes cruise*


    *spots a young girl flagellating in the middle of the road trying to flag down a ride*


    Oh my God, she's a whore!


    *notices cops who also see her--wait a minute--I am a cop--no, that's not right either*


    *cops wish her a Happy New Year, then pull off; crack-starved, she gets into some deranged-looking trick's car*


    No, no, no--I didn't stop!


    *gets the hell-outa-highwater*


    *wonders why beer cans don't have embedded microchips that beacon when opened so highly-techno-sensored cops can detect open containers on the road*


    No, no, no--dont give them any ideas!


    *seeks rapid refuge from the immediacy of bleakness*


    Spaced Penguin!

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