notforprophet

← Previous Post

Class last night was everything that nobody expected, including me.

Well, the surprise for the students was just as I here previously revealed to you. Except that I teased them (in a half-serious manner so as to allow them some comic relief) by spoofing that the go-around oral quizzing was actually a “class oral final test component in which everyone will share the class grade.” Here is the quiz. They collectively scored 80% on it—a “B”. And I left it hanging, again half-seriously, whether or not I would “curve” the grade.

At mention that I had decided upon an oral presentation of the projects, I encountered a near revolt! I had to carefully watch hands to assure that none were slipping into purses to draw out a little derringer or .22 short pistol. So I backed off—just a bit. I told them that I would read the projects aloud and orally challenge them on any “issues or concerns” that I might raise. There were actually just two projects since they were group projects ( 2 groups of four students each), and while the first one was fairly typical (statistically dry), the second one caught me by surprise:

(Note: students were told to make up a “little background story” for their research—the students mentioned below are the actual students conducting the research)

The Real Story About Hooch and Smarts

On a balmy July 23, 2001 at 3:21 a.m., Joann, Ali, Juli and Gene were sitting in Joann’s basement discussing their educational smarts, while smoking hooch (dude). Gene had been hogging the hooch all night; Ali and Juli had been to the kitchen, making a batch of “magic brownies”, and Joann was sucking on a bottle of Ripple. Once Gene finally stopped making odd bodily sounds, a discussion arose. The discussion was about whether or not hooch, otherwise known as marijuana, should be legalized.

Gene, the ninth grade dropout, with no smarts at all, was all for the legalization of marijuana because, “It feels good, dude.” Juli, the high school graduate, was against the legalization of marijuana because “Hooch should only be legalized for medical reasons.” Ali, the college graduate, was also for the legalization of marijuana because “Everyone does it man, so why not just make it legal.” Suddenly, Joann, the one with the masters degree, slammed her bottle of Ripple (careful not to spill any on her leather couch) and yelled, “If hooch *hiccup* was legalized, then people would smoke it all the time and our economy would fail due to the lack of productivity and absenteeism, man.” Then, Joann puked all over her precious leather couch. Gene applauded the projectile display and yelled, “Hey, watch out for the hooch, dude!”, and Juli and Ali continued munching on their brownies unfazed.

The next day, the quartet resumed their discussion about the legalization of marijuana and concluded:

Research Question:

The team took a random sample of 35 individuals and gathered data pertaining to their level of education and their opinion of the legalization of marijuana. Is there a relationship between smarts (independent variable) and hooch (dependent variable)? …

Both projects had flaws, but this one…I do believe that they were all too high sailing for their own academic good. I laughed uncontrollably at the story, but tore heavily and ruthlessly into their flawed methodology (i.e., “You chose the wrong test—t-test instead of chi square—for the levels of measurement—nominal/ordinal—you have selected.” and “If this project were a boat, it would be sinking as a vessel of research.” )

Poor sweet Juli looked like she was about to cry! I almost could have (((hugged))) her—but, hold on, I’m the Prof—can’t have that! These are my students! This is my class! OMG, how have I failed them??!!

Maybe that’s the problem: I didn’t fail them (understatement). Nobody took the option to take the final test, instead opting to double-up on their midterm grade (*A*). As dreadpirate might comment, they all seized the breeze and “Sailed on, sailed on” , relieved to have passed the course, looking forward to some remaining weeks of vacation before the Fall semester, and most probably (ah yes, that’s a statistical hedge) never looking back.