May 31, 2002

  • Snapple RealFact #109:  Smelling bananas and/or apples can help you lose weight.


    http://www.snapple.com/realfacts.asp


    Right.  If you only smell them, don’t eat them, and don’t eat anything else.  Or perhaps, if you smell bananas and/or apples long enough their purgative effects kick in, you vomit, and lose everything.  Or perhaps, if you’re a chain eater, just the act of stopping and smelling anything at all means that your mouth must stop munching, and at 900 pounds already with a monstrous metabolism battling just to lub your Jabba the Hutt frame around, the occasional pause to enjoy a fragrance eventually knocks you down to 895.  Or…after smelling the apples and bananas long enough, you simply get overwhelmed and can no longer resist eating them. So you do, but having done so, you know longer crave that Big Mac and hot fudge sundae that you woke up fantasizing about.  Or as you go about constantly sniffing apples and bananas, your friends challenge you as to your motive.  And after you inform  them that sniffing peels will help you lose weight, the unremitting ridicule you suffer from them compels you to lose your appetite.  


    By the way, I’ve heard around—for very similar reasons—that sniffing ________ can also help you lose weight. (fill-in and leave rationale)

Comments (230)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment

notforprophet

Recent Posts

Categories

The End of Days