I ran out of the Phoenician Resort (Scottsdale AZ—where I’m attending a Computer Security Institute conference) this morning, down Camelback Rd, left on Invergordon and on up to the Cholla Trail.  And then I proceeded on the trail up Camelback Mountain.

Going from the coziness of the oasis resort to starkness of the desert mountain was akin to transitioning from hell to heaven, with heaven residing on the sun-soaked, cactus-kissed mountain and hell remaining resident with the improvised, unnatural posh solitude of the resort’s air-conditioned accommodations where nature only invades as a cut red rose served with room service.

I stayed out, mostly running though sometimes simply hiking up (then down) the steep slopes, for a couple of hours in 100 degree heat.  Without any water.  (Please withhold all admonitions: I already know you think I’m crazy.) 

My weight dropped from 197.5 lbs to 189.5 lbs. during those two hours—a moisture loss of 1 pound every 15 minutes.  (I have already regained more than half back re-hydrating and eating.)

There were several other hikers on the trail, too.  Most were young, and if female, hot and muscular, and if male, buff.  Hint to me: they all had water!

I didn’t quite make it to the true summit of Camelback Mountain today—stopping at the steepest incline ¾ of the way up—due to time and water restraints.  Tomorrow morning I intend to make the same run/hike again but earlier and with water packed,  And then proceed all the way to the summit. 

I suspect there’s a hot girl hiker (with glistening muscles and organ-grinder baby monkey fuzz sun-shimmering on her forearms) up on that summit just waiting for me. 

Hey, I know it’s only my fantasy.  But I still have to disprove it.