According to many global warming climatologists and a CIA-sponsored scientific study, at the current rate of global warming, the Artic will no longer even be represented by a solitary ice cube floating in the vast swishing-swashing landless Artic Ocean soon. How soon? Very soon. Earliest estimate is 2075. The ‘best’ case scenario is that Santa, the Eskimos, and polar bears can hold onto at least a chunk of ice in the winter (they'll have to bob all summer) until 2125.
Many of us won’t be around to witness this final ecological demise. Unless, of course, it gets accelerated. But I feel, nonetheless that we should start planning now for the relocation of the Inuit tribes, Artic animal populations, and unique Artic-climate dependent flora to a location where they can continue to flourish in niches as close as possible to their native habitat.
But where? Where else? Antarctica.
Now there will certainly be many unknowns and dangers in this undertaking. For one, the introduction of exotic (non-native) populations to the Antarctic risks exposing the Antarctic ecology to disruption and partial destruction. What if the Artic polar bears kill all the southern penguins? What if the Inuit piss all over the pristine polar ice because they’re pissed off about having to move away from their native lands?
On the other hand, there are new risks for the populations getting introduced, too. It’s historically been much colder in Antarctica than in the polar north. So unless Antarctica is warming appreciably, too, as the northern pole is melting, there’s a risk that the pissing Inuit may get frozen, pants-down, in the act. And maybe the penguins down south, pissed about getting predated by prowling polar bears, will take it out by stamping on the heads of baby northern seals who never seem to catch a break anyway.
There are, of course, many species that we will not be able to relocate. The 100 million migratory birds that reside in the Artic north during our current summers will probably never find their own migratory way to down below the equator. Same goes for a lot of marine life that depend on the cool thermodynamics of the current Artic outlay for survival.
But, at least, we should try to do what we can do: plan feasible relocations; test with pilot samples of gatherable or volunteering populations; provision the Antarctic by international treaty for new use and Inuit ownership; get prepared to fall-back the populations to alternative non-polar locations (reserves) should Antarctica prove too much or not enough.
Ice: the 21st century’s most endangered species.
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