May 23, 2005

  • Like Lt. Dan
    in the movie Forrest Gump, I felt cheated out of duty and glory in not being
    allowed to fight and, perhaps, die in a war I joined specifically to fight
    in.  Except in my case, the “war” had yet
    to happen—I joined months ahead in confident anticipation that the “new
    President” would stand up to the tyrant and liberate our captive citizens
    .  But upon Inauguration Day, the hostage
    crisis in Iran
    was resolved as the Iran-Contra connection secretly kicked-in. 

    Suddenly, I was a warrior without a war, a samurai without a
    sword.  So I did the next best thing: I
    started running two to three times a day through the forests and around a
    cemetery in the Isthmus of Panama—where I was
    stationed.   I committed myself to staying fiercely
    ready.  Psychically-attuned to the
    warrior’s code to dive into action, with
    ever-launchable personal energy, I prepared for any and every eventuality.    

    Still, no war.  Like
    Lt. Dan, I, too, had a ‘forest’ that delivered me.  The jungle and its mysteries became my
    battleground.  Avoiding tree-dangling and
    path-hugging poisonous snakes, influxes of killer bees, victimizing vampire
    bats, and swarms of biting insects carrying deadly diseases constituted my
    daily engagements with the enemy.

    I didn’t have to run through the jungle.  None of my fellow-soldiers ever did.  They’d all be playing pool or comfortably
    watching TV in the barracks as I did my laps around a jungle cemetery.  Or they’d be chowing down in the mess hall
    for lunch as, forsaking food,  I instead ran
    a half hour up and 15 minutes down a forested mountain in 90+ F. heat and 100%
    humidity aback the compound. (Yes, I was always
    entirely soaked emerging from the forest at hill-bottom.) 

    My own frenzy of energy should have been enough to take any
    country to battle.  But no-o-o way, Jose.

    It’s always been that way. 
    Whenever I want something really bad, all heaven and earth finds a way
    to frustrate me. 

    I’m now learning how to “seek no-want” and “engage nothing
    in the pursuit of emptiness.”

    Let’s see what heaven and earth does to frustrate that.

Comments (279)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment

notforprophet

Recent Posts

Categories

The End of Days

May 2005
M T W T F S S
« Apr   Jun »
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031