Insight: A View Inside My Morning Head

While walking through a snow-covered parking lot on the way to work this morning, I noticed that one of my shoes had gotten untied.  The prospect of crouching down in the snow to tie it didn’t excite me, so I looked around for another option.  Nearby was a huge Ford F-500 truck, parked, with the logo “LESCO” all over it.  You know the goofy commercials: “A-s-k LESSSSCOOO!”  Well, it’s rear bumper was conveniently low and appealing.  I was alone, but if you had been nearby you would have heard the following conversation:

“A-s-k LESSSSCOOO!” 

“Hey LESCO, do you mind if I tie my fucking shoe on your rear bumper?”

(tying shoe)  “I didn’t think so.”

Truth is, I have a problem with both of my shoes always coming untied.  At least 6 times a day.  And especially when I run.  It’s very, very annoying.  Bit this hasn’t always happened to me.  Just in the last half year.  Do I need a remedial shoe-tying course, I wonder? 

I’ve begun double-knotting my shoes of late.  They still work their way loose and get undone.  No lie.  Is this a metaphor for my life?  Do I go to triple-knotting?  I’m running out of lace!  Oh my god, it IS a metaphor, isn’t it?