Let's make natural disasters, not war.

We name hurricanes after people, why can't we name PHAs (potentially hazardous asteroids) after figures in Revelation?  Asteroid 666. Asteroid Omega. Asteroid Antichrist.  And then we can sit back and make book on which player in the astral revelational pantheon will be the first to come through.

And back to hurricanes...what's up with giving them names like "Shirley" and "Jimmy"?  They are terribly potent and destructive phenomena that deserve concomitant Power Names from us.  Hurricane Darth.  Hurricane Trickster.  Hurricane Ripper.  However, Hurricane Rip-You-A-New-Asshole may be a little overboard.

And why are we calling this recent natural disaster just plain old "Tsunami"? As if this, 'our tsunami', is the only one worthy of the name "Tsunami"?   That's as self-centric as would be calling the Sun 'Star' and the rest of those things we never really notice anymore 'dim lights in the night sky'.  Call it the 'Fuck-It Tsunami' (after Phuket) or 'Pre-Apocalypse Tsunami I' or something.  Come on.

And we should also give consideration to a naming convention for the approaching eruption of super-volcanoes (like Yellowstone) before their actually media-required.   Maybe we can name them after famous cigarette brands?  The Marlboro-Old Faithful Blow Out?  The Hawaiian Pall Mall Blast?  Sell the naming rights to the cigarette manufacturers and retain the profits from such sales for future emergency relief efforts?

Damn it, the original attribution of names to the nameless animals gave Adam and Eve dominion over the Earth.  (Your pet has a name, doesn’t it? And you probably thus master it.)  We, as a world, are losing this dominion-grip in modern times because we've stopped doing what we do best: giving appropriate names to things! Clearly, the major challenge to us of our times is to confer Names of Power and Potency  to modern cataclysmic stuff  in order to regain the necessary upper iron-hand.