October 26, 2004

  • So what are you going to do this  Samhain ( pronounced "sow-in" where "ow" rhymes with "cow") or All Hallow’s Eve other than die of terror, fright, or delight??


    Most people can’t make up their mind who or what *to be* on Halloween.  But that’s not a problem for me—since I know no one scarier than me and there’s nothing stranger than being myself!  


    The problem  for me is what to do… Should I...


    1) Spend the night locked in Dreamland cemetery blogging via satellite uplink until the restless spirits thereabout decide to jam my transmission?


    2) Run down the middle of the highway dressed as either a Chinese Bush or Chinese Kerry with a "I'm going to steal the erection" target on my back? Dodging crazed, drunken, desperately homicidal counter-partisans attempting to run me down, loathing my "just running for the erection" thrill of it?


    3) Drive down the highway looking for some drunken fool dressed as a Chinese Bush or Chinese Kerry with a "running for erection" target on his back and run him over to just to teach him a lesson about living in America?


    4) Return to the scene of my last drunken revelry (?) where I could have sworn a red-headed—or was is it blonde?—angel? promised to be a devil come some taunted trick-or-delight? night.  It's been so long...I can't remember?


    5) Stay glued to the TV waiting for true stories of developing terror a la Atilla the Huney to arise?


    6) Hang out in a haunted chat room?  Refuse to chat: just scream?


    7) Comment *Boo* on everybody’s blog?


    8) Eat enough pumpkin pie to turn orange and claim it's an off-season nuclear-induced suntan?


    9) Practice my archery by shooting arrows at kidnapped neighborhood jack-o-lanterns in my basement?  Shooting through the cut-outs and then returning the jack-o-lanterns to their proper perches with only their rear flesh arrowheaded to hell?


    10) Place myself into a narcotized trance and write love poetry?


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