I enjoy staying up all night, then strolling down the pre-dawn sparsely-populated downtown streets understanding that most of the pedestrians I pass are newly-awakened, newly-arisen phantoms from the night.

I’m incapable of noticing  beautiful girls in my workplace, despite the fact there’s probably several.  Not just appreciating, noticing.  To me, the workplace is like a city dump where I’m foraging for car parts, not looking for nookie. Ah, but imagining a beautiful girl beyond the workplace while yet working: my name is Achilles and that is my heel.

I haven’t lost my urge to teach on the side (college grad statistics), it just doesn’t pay enough.  Sure, $100 an hour sounds great, but that’s just prorated for the classroom contact time.  When you factor in lecture preparation—including powerpoint slideshows,  preparing handouts, preparing homework, grading homework, preparing tests, grading tests, maintaining a course website, office hours, and other bureaucratic considerations,  suddenly at week’s end you’ve made $6 an hour (70 hours).  I can alternately, on the side, make $20-$30 an hour painting. And I can do the math.

I think I’m going to buy myself a weapon.  I’m looking at Swiss Army knives.