October 12, 2004

  • There are blogs under my floorboards.  And they are rotting.  Their oozing putrefaction is darkly corrupting the varnish on the floorboards directly over them.  Those floorboards now grotesquely silhouette the bloggybags of under-things that were: posts conceived but unwritten, posts written but unpublished.  I am haunted by the Blog of What Could Have Been!


     


    *whew*  Just a dream.  Thank the xangods you’re all a dream.


     


    *vanishes self into one of the many parallel internets of which Pres. Bush spoke*


     


    Yes, Al Gore invented ‘the Internet’.


    But Bush invented ‘the Internets’.


      --“I hear these rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft. We're not going to have a draft, period.”



    When you search on Google for “internets”, it asks you: Did you mean: internet's  ?


    Well, did ya, George?  Or perhaps you’re carrying one of those “internets” in the box on your back -curiously discernible under your suit?



    Surely, that bulge is not what some newscasters and internet(s) conspirators are suggesting: that he was wi-fi’d for debate coaching and prompting.  No way.  The President would have had access to much more miniaturized and concealable technology—something the size of a cigarette lighter that could be hidden almost anywhere.


    No.  That bulge is either:


    1) One of the many ‘internets’ of which he speaks.  Possibly an alien internet or internets implanted during his last abduction,


    2) The worst wardrobe failure since Janet Jackson's more curvaceous Super Boob bulge,


    Or 3) the President is simply wired with a bomb.  Perhaps one of those nu-ku-lar russian-type portable devices.


    Ah, life was so much simpler with Clinton.  At least we all knew what the bulge in his pants was.

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