June 3, 2004

  • Neanderthals are extinct.  At last check.


    To 'meander' means to stroll about slowly often without precise direction.


    Put them together and what have you got?


    Call them meanderthals.


    They are slowpoke pedestrians who delay foot traffic on sidewalks and then, without warning, jaywalk, forcing vehicles to slow down or stop while they do their own thing crossing a street.


    Cellphone-toting meanderthals are dangerous because they are oblivious to their surroundings. Baby-stroller-pushing meanderthals could wipe out the next generation. Meanderthals of any kind survive only because most drivers use their brakes.

    —Jack Brubaker, "Meanderthals and freedestrians make driving in the city a challenge," Lancaster New Era (Lancaster, PA), July 23, 2002


    Personally, I've never been a meanderthal.  Quite the contrary, since my youth I've been more of a dashambler, a jaystreaker, a quickpoke who dares to cross the street in front of your vehicle and reaches the shore of the opposing curb before you even have the chance to break or beep your horn.  I know, I know, many of you will think that I'm of a sort even worse than the meanderthals. Tough. Can't handle it?  Quit driving.


    Still, someday somebody's going to make a vehicle called the Coyote.  And as an intrepid roadrunner, I'll be forced to take notice.

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