Dealing with Saddam
If I were Bush I’d…
…Covertly have the CIA sell a nuclear bomb to Saddam, have it all on videotape from production to delivery, then say to the world: “We know he has nukes because we sold them to him ourselves .” Then proceed forthwith despite any objections.
…Sever all presidential ties—ongoing for years—with Billy Grahams’s *Crusade* Anything *Crusade* fuels fundamentalist rhetoric. Instead create an official holiday honoring Saladin, the brilliant Islamic poet/warrior/conquerer of
"It is equally true that his (Saladin’s) generosity, his piety, devoid of fanaticism, that flower of liberality and courtesy which had been the model of our old chroniclers, won him no less popularity in Frankish (Christian)
--The Epic of the Crusades, Rene Grousse
…Resurrect the notion of Kennedy’s Peace Corps, but dub it the Koran Corps. Send young, patriotic Americans overseas as grassroot ambassadors of goodwill but first require their conversion to Islam. Allow these converted ambassadors to take with them their insatiable hunger for McDonald’s Big Macs, videotapes of the Simpsons and Osbournes, and CD cuts of assorted rock music. Allow
…Require Vice President Dick Cheney to move to the middle of
…Create an alternative state-counterforce to nationalistic, militaristic, fundamentalist Islam. Call it Isn'tlam . Replace 'the Prophet' with the ideological blatherer, notforprophet. Attack
…And if none of the above work, follow the lead of Berkeley, Calif. and mute the saber-rattling *oil issue* by building cars that run solely off of bio-based (soybean) fuel. amen.
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