December 5, 2002

  • I don't often just pass 'internet funnies' along, but in watching the reaction of the Deep South (even through a number of xanga blogs) to the 'horrid ice/snow storm' that's somehow has deposited all life in a snow drift a foot deeper than a nuclear winter, I feel the need to brag about my (and other Ohioans) hardiness:


    OHIO TEMPERATURE CONVERSION CHART (degrees F)

    @ +70 degrees
    Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
    People in Ohio go swimming in the Rivers.

    @ +60 degrees
    North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
    People in Ohio plant gardens.

    @ +50 degrees
    Californians shiver uncontrollably.
    People in Ohio sunbathe.

    @ +40 degrees
    Italian & English cars won't start.
    People in Ohio drive with the windows down.

    @ +32 degrees
    Distilled water freezes.
    Lake Erie water gets thicker.

    @ +20 degrees
    Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
    People in Ohio throw on a flannel shirt.

    @ +15 degrees
    Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
    People in Ohio have the last cookout before it gets cold.

    @ +10 degrees
    People in Miami all die...
    Buckeyes lick the flagpole.

    @ -20 degrees
    Californians fly away to Mexico.
    People in Ohio get out their winter coats.

    @ -40 degrees
    Hollywood disintegrates.
    The Girl Scouts in Ohio are selling cookies door to door.

    @ -60 degrees
    Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic.
    Ohio Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets
    cold enough.

    @ -80 degrees
    Mt. St. Helens freezes.
    People in Ohio rent some videos.

    @ -100 degrees
    Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
    Buckeyes get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

    @ -297 degrees
    Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
    Cows in Ohio complain about farmers with cold hands.

    @ -460 degrees
    ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
    People in Ohio start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

    @ -500 degrees
    Hell freezes over.
    The Browns win the Super Bowl!

Comments (110)

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment

notforprophet

Recent Posts

Categories

The End of Days

December 2002
M T W T F S S
« Nov   Jan »
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031