Scientist burns penis with hot laptop. 

"Laptops have always been a hot item but a 50-year-old scientist didn't realize to what extent until he burned his penis.

The previously healthy father of two remembered feeling a burning sensation after he had been writing a report at home for about an hour with the computer on his lap."

What a nerdy amateur.  As any veteran blogger knows, the key to not getting burned is maintaining a keen sense of non-literality and keeping the 'laptop' off one's lap.  As I here aptly demonstrate (and some may recall):