A casual friend of mine, a fairly reputable psychiatrist who works for the Cleveland Clinic, calls Saddam Hussein…*SoDamn Insane* mwuahahaha
But is it insane or just gutsy of Saddam to challenge Bush to a duel ? What could be more American than a duel—gunslingers rat-a-tat-tatting at each other? Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, of course, were the parties in the most famous American political duel to date. Burr’s shot was true and felled Hamilton who died the next day. Though buried in mid-summer, you would have thought it was a dreary day in mid-winter the way all the peeps stood around Hamilton’s gravesite muttering *burr* in chilled underbreaths as they interred him in the ground.
But back to the Bush and Saddam matchup…Will Bush get to choose the weapon to be used? If so, I think he should choose Apache helicopters armed with visor-directed laser-guided missiles. I have a feeling that Bush’s more ready access to this weapon and to those who have expertise in using it will provide him a critical training advantage over SoDamn. Hey, if you’re challenged, you get to pick the weapon, right? Well, Bush was challenged, so line up those Apaches! And if Saddam doesn’t have any, he can bring a vial of anthrax or smallpox as his alternative weapon of choice—we’ll just have to insure that Bush is vaccinated before the confrontation.
But really what I'd rather see is a team of “our best’ elite warriors versus their “best warriors” go at it man-on-man on a deserted Carribbean island. Or even our “best politicians” versus theirs. Let’s see…hrm…we have Jesse Ventura (Gov. of Minnesota), Clint Eastwood (mayor of Carmel, CA), Arnold Schwarzenegger (positioning to run for governor of CA)…either way: we win! we win! mwuahaha
Now I understand why some Americans and fellow-xangans don't want to see an armed conflict with Iraq. That's a conscientious thing that even I wrestle with (no , Jesse, not yet ). But to those of you thus inclined, I ask you (and you should ask yourselves) honestly: Would it also turn your stomachs to see Bush (or better, our proxy warriors or proxy politicians) win in a duel? If so, it's plain and simple: fuck you.
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