I’m concerned about how we’re going to respond to that killer asteroid heading towards Earth.  You know, the one “out there” that nobody’s spotted yet, yet is nonetheless soaring majestically towards us through the silent darkness of space.  I know what you’re thinking: Let’s just blast it out of orbit with nukes!  Wrong!  What if you nuke the thing and it doesn’t disintegrate?  Then you’ll have a radioactive killer asteroid about to impact.  Or even if you bombard the giga-asteroid with a nuke arsenal, what happens if you only manage to break it up into 6 or 8 mega-asteroids now all still heading for Earth and all thoroughly nuclearatized ??!!  Why don’t we just nudge the Earth out of the collision course instead?  Let the damn killer asteroid go about its deadly business as a near flyby because we have changed our trajectory?!  OK!  Let’s practice: everyone on  the left side of the Earth, PUSH!  Everyone on the right side, PULL!

Hey, speaking about saving the Earth, superhero dreams do come true: Scientists have just created  a living, breathing  Mighty Mouse!    Well, I don’t know if he’s mightier, but he sure twitches slower!  As to questions of whether he can fly, I believe you’ll have to adjust his cape properly, grip like a football, and toss for the end zone.

And here’s the solution to the West Nile mosquito threat: induce sufficient regional volcanic activity to emit a layer of carbon dioxide gas spreading outwards about a quarter inch high.  Carbon dioxide is heavier than air and sinks towards the ground.  Mosquitoes use the carbon dioxide trail from oxygen-breathing organisms to track them down, sensing carbon dioxide sliding along the ground and following it back to the emitting source.  Well, if an array of mini-me volcanoes could be induced to spew out a trace layer of carbon dioxide, the mosquitoes would end up biting molten magma instead!  But not too much carbon dioxide: it’s known that some volcanoes  (e.g., Mt Vesuvius) have suffocated people with a layer of carbon dioxide above their heads!  Here’s a tip: if you’re ever suffocating in the vicinity of an active volcano, get above the suffocating gas by getting to high ground or climbing a tree—but don't run up the slope of the volcano!

Is it the World According to Garp ?  Or the World According to Darpp?  Apparently, there’s a positive-feedback mechanism in the brain that turns any caffeine imbibed into a jittery fling.   In fact, it’s speculated that Darpp may be a common denominator for all psychostimulant effects (amphetamines, cocaine, etc.)  Another way to look at this is that whenever you drink coffee, you’re just playing with yourself.

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