February 14, 2002

  • If you've seen this bear...


    or any bear even remotely resembling it, please call your local FBI office immediately with the following information:


    *appearance
    *whereabouts
    *activities it engaged in
    *apparent co-conspirators
    *immigrant status


    News Flash: The FBI has issued an alert to 350 law enforcement agencies in the southwest and Salt Lake City for potential Valentine teddy bear bombs after a suspicious transaction at a Wal-Mart last month....The FBI said a clean-shaven male, possibly of Middle Eastern descent, purchased nine Valentine teddy bears, 20 inches tall, and 14 canisters of propane, 9 inches tall, small enough to fit inside the teddy bears.

    Also be prepared to spit and take immediate cover should you encounter a box of terrorist chocolates packed with gooey nougat centers consisting of delicious C4 plastic
    .



    Happy V-day via Xanga, y'all

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