January 2, 2001

  • Two Birds, One Stone

    Yesterday I posted a comment to vickycix in response to a challenge she was undergoing to stand up and be counted. Her quest was:

    "Anyways, I don't know if I told you guys, but I'm currently writing this application for this summer school thing in the States...the topic is: "What makes you unique?"....bleurgh! Aside from the fact that EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD is unique (unless there are some clones out there that I don't know about, and no, I don't mean you Dolly, Polly or whatever your name is), how is it possible to write an essay like that without sounding completely arrogant and sellf-absorbed? (unless you write something like "I'm the stupidest person in the world, and that makes me *real* special")."

    Today I got enthralled by the log of agrochick78 where she describes her *path* by way of an introduction....

    I, too, have a path, by way of introduction. And it is the comment I shared with vickyvix. One stone, two birds. The stone sinks deeper into the earth while the birds fly ever higher overhead:

    My name is Stefan Friedrich. I am at least three years old and am certainly an incorrigible mystical fascist who very much hopes some day to become Prime Minister of TuvaTuva or some other terra incognito thirstily in want of an aggressive, marshal lunatic with a highly-developed, cosmically-political imagination.

    My favorite and probably my only hobby is communicating intelligently with space aliens (star children, we are all star children) which I do by scribbling messages in classical Chinese on sheets of Charmin toilet paper and flushing them down the toilet at midnight on the 14th day of every lunar month. As of yet I've received no reply communications, but you must understand that these things require time and much patience.

    My philosophy of life is simple though arcanely drawn. It is found fully expressed in the sixth chapter of the Tao Te Ching by the ancient sage Lao Tse. It reads:

    The valley spirit forever lives;
    It is woman, primal mother.
    Her gateway is the root of heaven and earth.
    It is like a veil almost unseen.
    Seize it: it will never fail.

    Granted, it doesn't make much sense. And even less so before translation. But, then, a good, healthy philosophy of life ought not to make much sense, less to suffer the hazard and risk of a deadening bureaucratization.

    Some people have said that I resemble Jesus Christ. These people are idiots. I do not at all resemble that man. In fact, I believe that I do not resemble anyone living or dead. I think I was born not to resemble. A solitary facial fingerprint in the look-alike pool of life. If you've never seen me but are curious to know what I look like (you must be strange), the best thing to do is to go to the mirror, gaze at your own image, and say "He does not look like this."

    Affectionately.

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