December 31, 2000

  • Eye Candy



    Here's an interesting perspective on WhatChaMaCallits:







    Hershey's has the syllables color-coded. This allows cognitive perceptual rearrangement, both subliminally and consciously. Let's follow the conscious route:



    1) select the first two light colored syllables: What + ma;



    2) and then visually select the two dark colored syllables: cha + call;



    3) append the suffix it;



    4) Put it together and what have you got? What ma cha call it...Want ma chacallit...Want more chocolate!



    ...Want more chocolate!





    OK. So WhatMAchaCALLits, I mean, WhatChaMaCallits and the possibility of a subliminal conspiracy require too much cutesy-psychobabble, right? Are you looking for a good, clean American candy bar that the working man or woman can identify with? Try:









    With PayDay, what you see is what you get. I mean...look at the wrapper: What are most of us working for, anyways? ...RIGHT!





    Or do you prefer your chocolate comically dark...?





    Birth Of A Candy Bar



    One payday, Mr. Goodbar wanted a bit o' honey. So he took Miss Hershey behind the powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue. He began to feel her mounds. That was pure almond joy. It made her tootsie roll. He let out a snicker as his butterfinger went up her kit kat and caused a milky way. She screamed "Oh Henry" as she squeezed his peter paul and zagnuts. Miss Hershey said, "You are even better than the three muskateers."



    Soon she was a bit chunky and nine months later, Miss Hershey had a baby ruth.




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