December 21, 2008

  • Widgets and Football

    So Xanga has stooped to letting its bloggers auto-post advertising widgets for "credits."   You know, the Benadryl-thingie that pops up when you first log in.  Post it and get 500 credits.  I first accepted the proposition, examined it, and then deleted the post.  I wonder if Xanga is so financially strapped that such a mechanism constitutes a blogger bail-out for Xanga.  We get meaningless credits and Xanga gets advertising bucks to ward off blogrankruptcy.  I have a godzillion other Xanga blogs so maybe I'll help out by ad-posting to them.  But not here.

    Anyway, before dealing with this curious matter of widget-blogjacking, I intended to say just one thing and it is this:

    America is basically still a religious (Christian) nation and will remain so until the implementation of NFL Sunday Morning Football.  Think about.  That is all.

December 15, 2008

  • ...from the shadows...

    And all this time I was obsessed with buying the best running shoes.  When I should have had the insight to get a pair of the best throwing shoes.  So what shoe vendor will be the first to pimp their "throwing shoes"?!

    There are now endless scores of economic and financial experts predicting an oncoming world economic collapse.  So many that I wouldn't bet my foreclosed farm against them.  Almost none of them are willing to venture how bad it will be or how long it will endure.  But almost all are offering opinions on what the government should or should not do to prop up the American economy.  I see things a little differently.  I don't think the government should do any thing, not a damn thing, for big business, for small business, for the rich, for the poor, for the mortgaged, for the unmortgaged,  for the emerging green, or for the dirty-oily entrenched.  Not a damn thing for anyone's sake per se .  What the government must do is twofold:  1) stave off the international overflow of chaos and destruction that will erupt from nations completely overwhelmed and blown away by the Shakti-force of financial collapse, and 2) position the American economy to be at the top of the international financial heap when the dust of this economic implosion settles.  You see, true prosperity will only return and be shared by all after the financial seismic shocks and aftershocks yet to come fade into the past.  Those nations positioned at or near the top will, once again, lead the way back to prosperity and share more gloriously of it.  

    What will it take to be at the top when the time for the reemergence of world-sharable wealth comes about?

    Superior vision, near-endless perseverance, and ruthless compassion. 

    Meanwhile, cybercriminals are celebrating the hard times.  Know why?  Because online shoppers are spending more and more time online going to more and more sites to find the best deal.  And the more an online shopper shops, the more drive-by malware downloads they are exposed to, the more the redirect to malicious sites they will experience, the more their browser's defenses will be probed and weaknesses attacked.   It's a good time to be a cybercriminal.  And it appears, from my vantage, that some of the best cyberminds are.

    I just had a bowl of chicken soup and I am now drinking a beer.  Thank God, for now, I didn't have to choose between the two.

December 9, 2008

  • the passing of notforprophet

    Police have just publicly announced that the long-anticipated murder of notforprophet was an act of pure non-pseudo random drive-by violence.  Case (soon-to-be-cold) closed.

    However, other intimate inside sources have anonymously divulged  that they have evidence that the murderer was a long-time psycho-stalker who was sexually-obsessed with the well-forewarned happy-go-lucky victim's pre-incarnated fantasies.

    Stay-tuned as notforprophet attempts to blog stunning revelations of sordid (assorted?) details of this supposed shocking crime - from the Other (Dreamland) Side.

    If no stunning issuances are here forthcoming, then the subject of the next blog will be curiously unrelated to nothing at all.

December 7, 2008

November 27, 2008

  • Finally.  A holiday and a moment to blog again. 

    Okay.  That's it.

    Back to fighting the bad guys....

November 7, 2008

  • Sexfusion

    Now that Obama is about to become our President, I think it is time to re-paint the White House beige.


    No, this isn't a joke.  I am totally howling serious.

    Give me a fucking total visual symbol of the assimilative melting involving ongoing embracing.

    This from a kanky-skinned non-italiano who has spent most of his short (possibly-only imagined) love-live in embrace of luscious lovers of color.

    oh...damn...the love...i can (almost) feel the (your) heat.

November 6, 2008

  • I'm out.

    I just realized and here self-acknowledgize that I will never be President of the United States.  Damn.  What an amazing Country!!!

November 1, 2008

October 24, 2008

  • Four views and 1 comment after 2 days on my last blog.

    I think that Xanga is broken!  haha.

    Acutally, it is good to be "no one" once again.

    That is the way of Tao.

    I am thus freed of this earthly form of cyber-flaunting.

    Free to be as I choose, free to express as I wish.

October 22, 2008

  • NYC - another impression

    Here in NYC, I wake up mysteriously at 3:05 every morning.  I do not believe this to be a coincidence.  But I'm at a loss to explain time's staging of such a summons.  My initial instinct was to get out a take a walk upon waking.  But my legs are now too tired from walking all over Manhattan.  So I've decided not to venture out thusly anymore.

    I think the subways provide a magnificent sampling of humanity.  So much so that I truly suspect that all the flashing lights between stops are government-sponsored alien sensor probes mapping the minds of the subway unsuspecting in order to type humanity to the bone.  Thus, today when I rode the subway, I really took the effort to brainstorm outlandish fantasies in order to skew this voyeuristic alien inquest.  However, now upon reflecting, since I don't know what anybody else was thinking/feeling/imagining/plotting, my ploy could have just as easily cast me dead center into the mean/median/mode of the status quo.

    The cheese from the West Side Market is some of the best and lest expensive I've ever had in my life.  How's that for a lasting impression?  haha.

    When I leave - soon - I will miss the city tempo, the inordinate number of beautiful girls navigating the city streets, and all the yellow cars.  (Somebody told me that they, the yellow cars, are all cabs - but I'm not so gullible as to believe that any city could have that many cabs.)

    I will leave in peace.

October 20, 2008

  • NYC - a new impression.

    Last time I was in New York was solely for the purpose of seeing David Bowie on Broadway in Elephant Man.
    What a magic mega-vortex of involving humanity this city then seemed: simply breathe. and re-become.
    New York City is underwhelming this time around.  haha.  
    I'm staying less than a mile from Xanga, Hdqtrs. (I'm up to no good - but that's another story. )
    There was a time, once upon a time, that a trip to X-HQ for me would have been like a Muslim's sacred trip to Mecca.
    But nothing here now seems sacred. 
    I think all the sacredness has been secretly niched-away from my predatorial apprehension.
    Last night, at 3 am in the morning, I found myself on a walk-about down nearly deserted streets and alleys in Manhattan.  I collected a cup of coffee.  And nothing else.

October 17, 2008

  • Sex is bad.  It's nasty.  And it hurts.

    And I'd bet ya a couple thousand bucks even odds to prove to me otherwise.

October 15, 2008

  • Politics is so confusing that I suppose you have to have brilliant minds like those of John McCain or Sarah Palin to keep things straight, right?  I mean, McCain's "Joe the Plumber" and Palin's "Joe Six-Pack" are the same guy, right?  I mean, certainly this is a joe plumber who drinks McCain's wife's beer heiress joe beer - no doubt.  But is that Coors or Bud joe suds?  Damn, like I said, it takes brilliant joe-spankin' minds and lots of joe-doggone drinking with concommitant prodigious joe use of the joe plumbing facilities to keep this joe shit straight as joe piss!

October 12, 2008

  • I suppose I should still keep using this internet thing before the cybercriminals entirely control it.  Sunday morning's are low-key anyway, so likely below the radar horizon. 

    I am resisting the notion that the world is going to hell.  But may modify my opinion if a pandemic of Bird (dinosaur) Flu breaks co-temporal out with this world economic shakedown that I'm calling the Great Fearpression.  ( I checked Google: there are no search returns for "the Great Fearpression" so it is either a brilliant characterization on my part...or a completely idiotic anonymous rendering by somebody else.  But even if it is idiotic, that would be entirely consistent with every other characterization and explanation of this gigantic vanishment of world wealth.  And so, so apropros.)

    Now for the good news!  No super-volcanoes or mega-tsunamis or killer asteroids are scheduled for the near or far future.  However, I reserve the right, in the somehat future, to define, in minutes, what I consider "the near or far future."

    I just had a beer for breakfast.  Hey, Johnny, what are we having for dessert?

October 3, 2008

  • I have just discovered that the last two year's of  my "today's" seemingly desperate need for sensuous seizure of otherness is precisely a nothingness.  Cry havoc! and bring on (the paparazzi) ever-nowly (in each progressive moment of this zazen-more mounting).  Thus life transcends key-limely, sublimely into tomorrow's (sun-rising) rousing re-realization of a spiritual, more-embracing acceptance of unavoidable self-actualization.

      C.G.?  Yesh!  (Yo)Jung.

    notforprophet (according to his anti-matter(ialistically), genetically-inst(a)illed, revoking-avatar vaccine *kises* .  re-reincarnated incubus inoculations
    - yet(ti?), thus does I, nfp, love(s), (luvs) (old-westernly, i can draw faster!) ( than you.  ,fully, quixotely-coyotely tran-cyber-l (i, nfp) violating all secrecies, thus embraces yo(u).  loves.

    Yes, you.  Wake up!   And smell a heart (yours, mine) still throbbing.

    I know.  there are too many (..)'s above for the present-only-minded voyeurs.  but, drift back, you lovers, to when you can  exactly remember your first feelings.  ...I thusly indict and command every instance of our quasi-nazi-bookfed-grammar to cease and desist!

September 29, 2008

  • I was going to wait until the entire world economy collapsed before blogging again.  You know, wait until something half-significant moved me to a profound, binge-drinking-driven opinion.  But then I wondered: would Xanga survive a major economic collapse?  If half of its members could no longer afford the luxury of internet access and 4/5 of its current advertisers disappeared...?

    The politicians now spin and scream 'Main Street not Wall Street!'  Last time I checked, Main Streets were mainly just businesses and the wealthier ones at that.  Hey, you dumbbells, I'm a person and I live on Side Street.  Sesame Street.  Under the goddam bridge. 

    Actually, matters of health and life and death now loom larger in my personal world than maters of economic doom.  I'd give all up my wealth for life, life, and more life for all the many in my world - now suffering - that I love.

September 21, 2008

  • My daughter and her doggie.  ah...who's that in the picture in the background???

September 20, 2008

  • missing

    For several years now, my enemies have known what I have
    been missing.  And they have tortured me with
    that knowledge.

    But I have changed.

    Now my enemies only know what I know longer miss.

    But do not know who I am, what I have—what has replaced the
    ‘old want.’

    And I think they are sick to figure me out.

    But I do not care, for they are doomed.

    They are doomed.

    And I have no mercy in my heart for them.

September 6, 2008

  • Kisses only..
    No bite. No bite.

    On what point on the road to fame does one forget to look back?

    I was born an off-roader.  It's time to get back to the bush.

August 31, 2008

  • As some of you know, I broke my back one and a half months ago.  But I have just this weekend  abandoned the euphoric meds supplied to me and I have run (jogged) this afternoon a fair distance for the first time since my injury.  I can now proclaim: it doesn't suck to be me anymore.  I feel now like I can openly lay claim to the world once again instead of taking sheltering precautions against reinjury and shielding myself from the risky energy mix of this world that's always swirling everywhere about.  I'm feeling so good that I wish I was down on the shore of the Gulf Coast in the direct path of Gustav on a Harley hog with two extra cans of gas strapped to packs.  I'd sit there in lawless and guardian angel-less defiance and stare the storm in the face until the rage of the storm matched my sense of utter abandoned independence and then I'd race that bike north/northwest without sleep until the the sun shined otherworldly high overhead and songbirds, untroubled by even a shadow of a cloud, sang their horny mating songs once again.

    I repeat: It no longer sucks to be me.

August 29, 2008

  • Sarah Palin is Hot

    Yep. Sarah Palin ( Republican McCain's vice presidential choice) is really hot. 

    She reminds me of my first serious gf in college who was also hot and Republican and running for office.

    They have bumper stickers up in Alaska that proclaim "Coldest State, Hottest Governor". Maybe she's responsible for the melting Aor(c)tic icecap?

    If the proposed (ideal) ticket were, instead, Obama and Palin, they would have my unqualified support.  Straight up.  Both are young, both appealing, both brilliant.  And would not the two grumpy old men - McCain and Biden - be a a perfectly retirable non-ticket?

    Actually, I'd probably vote for Palin and McCain if Palin were the presidential candidate and John were, instead, the t0ken afterthought gimmick.  And I'd even vote for a McCain and Palin ticket if someone would guarantee me that McCain would die less than two years into term and thus promote Sarah to be my Commander-in-Briefs, I mean Chief.  I might even vote for the McCain/Palin purgative if I could take out an insurance policy that would cost me $1000 up front but pay me $3000 if McCain failed to die during his first term.  Do they write such insurance policies?  I'd also vote for McCain Palin if it were clear destiny to me that, while in office, they would both divorce their current spouses and then immediately remarry each other (McCain has practice at this - having remarried to a glam millionaire princess one month after divorcing his previous, crippled wife).  Mr. and Mrs. Ma-and-Pa Presidents.  How cool would that be?  ha!

    Barring all the above uneventualites, I'd like to see Obama win the presidency and shockingly divorce his wife, who would then remarry McCain who would have just somewhat unexpectantly have divorced his lesser-aging wife, and,  to top it off, Sarah Palin just leave her husband and shack up with a crooning Barack.  Melting, Love, Pot, baby.  Now ain't that the American dream?

August 25, 2008

  • My daughter's wedding last Friday?  It was just fantastic.  I'll let a few shutter booth pic strips convey the love and playfulness of the moment...


    Jen in white, her husband Chris in tux, and her mom, sisters, and niece (all in coral dresses).

August 22, 2008

  • Wedding Day is finally here.  And the bride is so beautiful.

    Earlier in the week, it looked like there would be rain all day today here on the North Coast due to the projected path progress of Tropical Storm Fay.  But Fay stalled in Florida.  Damn right I made that happen but I'm not telling how.  Now instead it's going to be sunny and 90 here.  A true summer day in a summer that will never be forgotten.
    Time to relax.  I'm going to have fun.

August 16, 2008

  • Sometimes the best thing to do is just wait.
    Sometimes the greatest form of participation in mankind is mere reflection and wonderment.

    I have done nothing at all for the last three hours.  Nothing.
    And recording these thoughts is but a trifle more than nothing.

    Sitting on the porch.  Might as well drink a beer. Wondering if the little pesky bugs buzzing about are going to bite me.  Perfect picture day-80s and sun, slight breeze.  Twenty other houses in sight but nobody's out but me.  Everybody's busy doing something, I surmise.  Except me. 

    Ah, the neighbor just pulled in the driveway.  But avoided all encounter with me.  Damn, I'm surely a king that nobody dares disturb.  Or  so it could seem if I let my imagination drive me mad.  If I go in the house and people suddenly emerge I will feel very strange indeed.

August 15, 2008

  • Hacking the Blogging Psyche

    Somebody is building a web application dashboard that they claim will psychiatrically shrink your blog:

    "Next time you blog or post an update to your social
    networking site, consider what the net of all of your online postings
    could reveal about what’s really going on inside your head.

    Security researchers Nitesh Dhanjani and Akshay Aggarwal have
    been researching how your online persona and activity can actually be
    used to hack into your psyche for intelligence-gathering and even as a
    way to influence your behavior. They’ll be presenting their work at
    Microsoft’s upcoming Blue Hat security summit in October.

    “This is the next generation of hacking: ‘I want to hack you, not
    your app,’” says Dhanjani, who is a senior manager with Ernst &

      - DarkReading

    The article above mentions a site called We Feel Fine project,
    a data-collection engine that automatically searches the Web every ten
    minutes for expressions of human feelings from blogs and social
    networking sites. It then graphs the mood of the Net in color.  The wefeelfine applet is here embeded below.  They say it make take up to a minute to load so be patient. (If it never loads, then either your browser needs a java plugin or your firewall is blocking it.)   Hover your mouse.  Click the links at the bottom left.  There's really some interesting slices on the collective blog psyche here.

August 12, 2008

  • BEIJING (AP) — "One little girl had the looks. The other had the
    voice.... It was the latest example of the lengths the image-obsessed China is taking to create a perfect Summer Games."

    Yep,  China put FAKE image over reality once again (see post below) to suck the world in.  Fa(uck)ke (pronounced "fa-uck-kay") them.  I hate fakes.  And, more and more, as the pretended facade of this Beijing Olympics crumbles, I am loathing Big Fa(uck)ke ("fa-uck-kay") China once again.

    It's like this: If I had a hot girl making love to me, and I fell short of her expectations, I'd rather hear "Is THAT it ?" rather than "Oh!  That's IT!"  You'd  better stop pretending China and tell us how it is.  Let little girls be little girls.  And let the singer sing.  Otherwise, we'll just fuck you and your narcissistic self-image hard and cold like a prick-addicted, make-up mirroring whore and that will be the once and permanent end of it.

August 11, 2008

  • "As the ceremony got under way with a dramatic, drummed countdown, viewers
    watching at home and on giant screens inside the Bird's Nest National Stadium
    watched as a series of giant footprints outlined in fireworks processed
    gloriously above the city from Tiananmen Square.

    What they did not realise was that what they were watching was in fact
    computer graphics, meticulously created over a period of months and inserted
    into the coverage electronically at exactly the right moment."

    Read more about the Chinese government's admission that it faked a key part of the Olympic firework's broadcast extravaganza.

    Is it really okay to fake for the sake of an orgasmic fireworks delight?   I think the day will soon arrive when faked videos become so undetectable and un-engineerable in reverse that the presumption will be that all video is suspect and that none will ever more be admissible as proof of anything.  And I think that such a development may be the only thing that will prevent future governments from ubiquitously videoing us in every aspect, facet, and moment of our lives.  After all, when inexpensive, mass-produced nano-aerial vehicles (NAVs) are finally reduced to the size of a mosquito and can record video feeds via onboard video cams, who's going to make the can of RAID to de-bug the airspace in your bedroom?

August 10, 2008

  • I have never been quite pathetic.  Confused, lost, tragic, defeated - yes.  But not pathetic.  Even in the grip of defeat,  I have always managed to affirm my will to remain, if only to be challenged by confusion, loss, tragedy, and defeat again.  And it has been my reaffirmation of will that has given me the energy to still be even while being stilled. 

    I haven't run for 4 weeks now.  That's probably the longest span that I haven't done so since I first learned to run as a sniffling, trotting ragmuffin.  Correlatively, I have already watched more of the Beijing Olympics on TV than combined of the previous three Olympics.  Credit that to sitting on the sidelines rather than being out and about running like a gumping fool.

    My favorite competition in the Olympics so far?  The Canadian women's soccer team pounding out a draw with the Chinese girls.  Hey, it's all been good.  Phelps - swimming.  LaBron -  basketball.  Christine Sinclair - an awesome Canadian soccer athlete (though Kara Lang is cuter).

August 7, 2008

  • Tell Me It Ain't True, Xanga

    "A researcher at Ernst and Young has developed a clever hybrid
    of a Gif image and a Java Archive that is being  dubbed a GIFAR,  which
    could conceivably be uploaded to any site that allows file uploads and
    then anyone who "viewed" it and was simultaneously logged in to their
    Facebook, Myspace, or Flickr ( or Xanga! - my edit) account could have their credentials
    stolen.  Kudos to Nate McFeters
    for discovering /demonstrating such a sophisticated attack.  He is
    presenting his technique at BlackHat this week (the premier computer security conference, in Las Vegas this week - my edit and emphasis) with the usual
    frustrating omission of "key elements".  In other words, just enough is
    left out so determined hackers can figure it out but developers at
    Facebook and Myspace (and Xanga! - my edit) will struggle until a working exploit is
    deployed.   Nate suggests that web application sites should be
    filtering uploads to prevent GIFARs from getting deployed, although he
    claims this will be extremely hard to do.    I sure hope the content
    filtering and Web Application Firewall vendors are working on simple
    tools to make this possible." 

    "Nate points out that this is not a Facebook-MySpace issue, it is
    true of all sites that allow image uploads.  Hmm, that is ALL blogs (Xanga, too?  no.... yes. -my edit). 
    We are talking hundreds of millions of sites.   It will be a long time
    (as in never) before that many sites are fixed."  

      - NetworkWorld

August 5, 2008

  • This should be a Pulse but I have no pulse. (I'm  probably too impatient to wait to feel one heartbeat to the next in gripping my wrist.) 

    I broke my back.  Really.  And ruptured a blood vessel that expanded my waist's girth from 36 to 44 (men's macho inches, please.)  Recently.  Three (break) and then one (rupture) week(s) ago, to be precise.  And the blood surging into my lower spine with the rupture spread invasively throughout my abdomen to five tight fingers' distance from the center symmetry of my groin.  Scream Ouch!

    But I had an awesome physical therapy session yesterday.

    And, today, given the success of that therapy and a certain degree of mindless self-indulgence, I am pain-free.

    But will it persist?  Is this truly a matter of healing or just a vomit of self-surrender to a cowardice embrace to a self-forged amoebic pushy-wushy retreat into a shadow of imagined oblivion?

    Only your comments will inform for sure.

August 3, 2008

  • Xanga: Blogregationist

    Xanga blog service info:

    Want detailed info on Xanga's traffic, geographics, and demographics trends?  Visit Quantcast and browse around.  Some interesting findings...

    1) 8% of visitors are considered "Addicts" and are responsible for 64% of all visits.

    2) Teens, Kids, and Asians are highly-concentrated on Xanga.

    Now for my rant...

    Have you noticed that Xanga has become a blogregationist?   Yep.  Used to be that Xanga Hong Kongers were in the social mix here on  But since June 20th or so, they've been broken out into a separate subdomain called  Great timing: right before the Olympics!

    If you go to the main Xanga page, you should notice a little tab at the top that says "visit xanga hk".  Now that's where all the people who write with these funny characters (这些都是奇怪的字符) are dispatched to for promotional pruposes.  It sure has cleaned up xanga u.s.a. though, hasn't it?  No need to be offended anymore by cover content with squiggles you can't read anyway and surely are possibly divisive by nature, right?  Because the Hong Kong contingent was growing and becoming more integrated into the Xanga content I was encountering, I had several months back began providing a Chinese translation of my posts for native Chinese speakers.  Well, what a visionary I was not: I never imagined that Xanga would isolate Chinese language bloggers from our melting pot.

    And, oh, by the way, are there any bloggers from the U.K., France, Australia, Russia, the Netherlands, and wherever all else that are offended by the fact that Xanga is no longer just worldwide Xanga but now either xanga hk or xanga u.s.a ?  That's right.  The switching tab at the top of the Xanga home page provides only these two options.

    It's strange that Xanga didn't at least announce this separation and provide explanation (I did due diligence and checked "Xanga News" - not there.)  At Xanga's startup, it was a great worldwide unifier bringing bloggers from all over the world together.  Now, with moribund massiveness, it has decided to fracture the world into smaller, self-manageable fractions.  What's next?   xanga espanol ?   Yes.  But only if it could attract enough of a critical mass of Spanish bloggers to segregate.  And that's unlikely - observing that Xanga's popularity, measured by visits, in the last year has dropped to less than half.   Is Xanga becoming Babel?

    Just remember that the Book of Mormon, a book of scripture used by members of the Church of
    Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, features a story about a family who prayed
    that their language would not be confounded. Their prayers were answered and
    they were led to the Americas.  Thank God for xanga u.s.a !

August 2, 2008

July 26, 2008

  • I'm melting...

    I had someone footprint to me the other day from a Google search and so I backtracked the search.
    Look what you've done, you cursed Xanga.  I'm # 1.   I'm top-ranked in the world for the famous last words of the Wicked Witch of the West.  Who would have ever thought a good little blog like Xanga could destroy my beautiful... obscurity.  Oh, what an Internet!  What an Internet!

    But 'notforprophet' isn't melting.  Of all those who made a really Big Bang as #1 Featured Content in the very earliest days of Xanga, I dare say that I'm the only one left.  Bianca was a farce and was busted.  Jewel  got sick and is gone.  James is gone into other ethereal space. VeryModern is no longer posting there though she does leave comments from time to time.  So, by my reckoning, that pretty much leaves me as Xanga's once-most-popular yet still actively extant artifact.  I am the (last remaining active) Xanga Patriarch in an age when patriarchs are routinely discarded.  ha!  

    Now, I had a bright idea a few moments ago.  I thought I'd insure my everlasting presence here by utilizing Xanga's "future post" feature to cast my posts decades "into the future." Those posts would then arrive in Xanga in a "real time" when I would no longer be physically on this earth but little bloggers, who are not even yet physically in the womb, might rally to read the future revealed words of the revered Now Passed Patriarch.   But, dammit, Xanga is only allowing us to futurize ourselves two years forward.

    I might still be alive in two years.  I don't want to say anything futurized now that I might regret, because still alive, then.   Oh well.  I guess I'll just stay here.  'Here' being no more than an inflected date/time element in the code of a post that stipulates when these words *poof* blogamagically appear.  So much for past and future Xanga grandeur.

July 25, 2008

  • There is no security in energy.  There is only adventure.  Will I have the energy to finish the marathon or not?  And, if I finish, will I drop dead immediately after fulfilling my energy vision?  There's no marathon insurance for falling short.  Finish or die!  Or finish and die.  That's the adventure! 

    We cannot secure future energy needs with future yet-to-be-invented technology.  We can only strive to be and burn and stay one-step ahead of  cosmic consumptive entropy.    The question should not be "How high will the price of gasoline rise?" but "Do you have enough fire in your belly to watch the sun rise tomorrow?"

July 24, 2008

  • I had a spontaneous kung-fu moment last evening.  And it was extreme enough to throw my back back into convulsion.  As a result, I now have a gelatinous-like balloon on my lower back under my skin (An implant?!  No, there is no nipple on my back.)   And I don't have a pair of pants or shorts large enough to cover and zip myself up.  The only item I can find now to wear without restriction is a pair of pajamas.  I'm glad that our culture tolerates public pajama wearing because that's how I'll likely debut today.

July 19, 2008

  • It's damn good to be alive.  Pushing through the post-accident pain is another battle that I'm fated to win.

    My right ribs and the three layered ripples of my intercostal muscles on that side are harboring an ocean of bruised blood that is making coughing and laughing and torso-shifting major tactical undertakings:  Cough slowly while supporting my rib cage with my cupped hands.  And only cough once and not deeply.  Laugh only if it's spontaneous and uncontrollable.  And then drag the laugh out into a low, slow howl that resembles Lurch's (Addams family) utterance of grave foreboding.  Bootstrap into every movement.  Pull myself up, no sudden movements, no kung fu moments.

    I was supposed to take the whole week off work to recuperate but
    decided yesterday to quit the pain meds and head into the office. 
    Well, I made it through the day without the percocets but it was
    rough.   There are going to be some more rough days ahead.  Some more it's-damn-good-to-be-alive days ahead.    I intend to transcend this setback and become unhindered.  Now is my launchpoint into greater awareness.

July 15, 2008

  • Bucked Off

    I almost left the planet yesterday evening.  Accidentally.  What I thought of, in the perilous moment, as
    possibly my last breath was just one long  intermission of
    non-aspiration.  I stayed up
    all night, after discharge from the emergency room, in amazed wonderment at still being here. Yesterday was a good day to die but the Earth didn't suck at me hard enough for long enough. 

    I'll be off of work for at least the rest of the week.  Going to take it slow, really slow, for a while.

    Addendum:  Indeed, I am sometimes too obscure.  What happened is that I fell off the top of a ladder at roof level and backwards and hit the deck square with my back.  Got some fractures here and there but all stayed clear of the spinal column.  As I fell, I had enough awareness to keep my head up and so that did not become a point of impact.  I didn't pass out but couldn't breathe for about half a minute.  Feeling like a deer that gets shot in the heart, I finally tore myself up off the deck and jolted back into the wilderness of life, death.

    Three things conspired to create the accident, all of which I should avoided, any one of which, if avoided, would have prevented my mishap.  1) The ladder was not solidly footed but was placed on shiftable material; 2) The ladder was placed against a gutter but not anchored there as it should have been with a bungee cord wrapped around a gutter nail; 3) The ladder rose just above the gutter instead of assuring at least three feet of jutting above it.  So as I began my descent from the roof backwards, the material shifted, the ladder slid since it was unanchored above, and it fell off the gutter and into a window in that its jutting was so slight as to not effectively counter some slippage.  Moreover, as I began my down descent, I didn't have any ladder juttage to grip hands onto but simply started down by my legs alone.  The ladder as it slipped did so with a snapping jolt. And since I didn't have any handhold on it, I found myself thrown off backwards as one might upon a bucking bronco if you lose hold of the reins.  I was, effectively, bucked off. 

    Morphine, CT Scans and hours later, I was told of the fractures but no organ damage.  I declined to stay in the hospital to manage the pain but instead slithered out of the hospital, into my vehicle, and to the nearest bar.  No - I actually went home.  I didn't have any money with me to buy drinks at the bar.

July 13, 2008

  • "A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a
    hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a
    wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act
    alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer,
    cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for
    insects."   - Robert Heinlein

    Of all the above, the one that appeals to me most just now is making love.  Oh, that wasn't in the list?   Okay.  I'll settle for playing in the hayloft.  Oh, that wasn't there either? 

    Oh.  But I can balance accounts allright!  $1000 worth of bills in my left hand and another $1000 worth of bill in my right hand while I'm yet standing on both feet.  That's perfect balance.

    I ate spare ribs on the 4th of July and set the bones in a garbage can.  Does that count?

    How about conning a plane?  Some say I bear an eerie resemblance to Cyrus the Virus (John Malkovich) in Con Air.  But I feel more comfortable saying  "Put the bunny back in the box."

    Planning an invasion is usually overkill.  Just do it.  It really take nothing to get up in the middle of the night and open the refrigerator door.

    Hence, entomologists don't just study insects.  They are insects.

    I suppose if I had to be an entomologist, I'd want to be an even-more specialized  forensic entomologist.  What do they do?  It's fascinating: check it out.

    I could never butcher a hog unless it was absolutely necessary.  Though I used to butcher insects in my youth just for the hell of it (a.k.a "I shot a man in Reno...just to watch him die.")   But I never specialized in the butchering of insects.  Ergo, I am not one of them.  whew.

    Is pitching manure the same as shooting the shit?   I'm really good at that.

June 28, 2008

  • My daughter is having her bridal shower today.  I hope all the girls will have lots of fun.  I've got a full weekend of work on hand.

June 23, 2008

  • Lack of impregnation.  It is true.  Dead Poet's Society II?   No.  Gloucester High Pregnancy Pact.   But I didn't make the cut.  Seems I fell into a "wrong gender" category.  Wish I had known that upfront.  Would have saved me my self-indulgence in my own fantasy that my substantial increase lately in belly girth was due to my imagined participation in a pre-adult teenage-girl life/death pact to birth.  Nothing to do now but have ANOTHER beer.

June 10, 2008

June 1, 2008

  • in front of the front

    It's Sunday.  Sun day.  And I just tawt I taw a puddy tat.  Or at least a stellar binary in radiating redness on the morning's horizon.  Damn, it's a good day to be alive.  Or as Crazy Horse would say everday as he woke and stretched his arms out to the risings suns, "Today is a good day to die!"

May 28, 2008

  • i've been away on an intellectual non-cyberized walkabout.  it's crazy out there, it's a frenzy, it sure is.  people will have you believing its the end of the world.  mannequins trying to convince you it's better to be non-alive.  warren jeffs claiming he's "not the prophet".  tornadoes no longer targeting trailer camps, preferring hardened towns and cities.  fuzzy gray black holes emitting energy.  birds flying upside down pretending they're in china.  sex petals falling from trees and coating you like you're a bride.  brilliance in the workplace.  brilliance only in the workplace.  consumers shocked by prices.  prices shocked by oil.  oil shocked by earthquakes.  earthquakes dreaming about asteroid collisions.  what the pink pig is going on?

    I wake up to Robin in the CNN morning.  And find Stephanie Courtney, Flo - the Progressive sales girl - strangely alluring.  Do spiders bark?  Have you ever seen a ghost running?  Why don't pictures of people in newspapers have bylines that state whether they were inhaling, exhaling, or holding their breath when the photo was taken?  

    Never a moment of boredom who imagines what nature declares.

May 19, 2008

  • i either wish that rust was emerald green in color or that my vehicle was the color of rust.

    ;l p           <--see that.  that's what happens when you reach to catch a falling beer can with one hand and consequently find your laptop falling off your lap and just manage to catch it, by the keyboard, with the other hand just before it hits the floor.  most importantly, of course, i caught the beer.

    i am remembering everything. it is frightening.  it's energizing. it's liberating.

    and if not last, then least (but it is last and so not least), i am becoming, it seems, a somewhat gentler soul.  and a more fierce shall-be warrior simultaneously.  oh..."when faces called flowers float out of the ground..."

    And the unmandatory Chinese translation:


    ;升p < -看到。这是发生什么事当您达到赶上下降的啤酒可以与一方面,并因此找到您的笔记型电脑剥落您立和公正的管理要赶上它,键盘,另一方面刚刚才打在地上。最重要的是,当然,我引起了啤酒。


    如果没有去年的话,至少(但它是最后等并非最不重要的) ,我成为,似乎有点温柔的灵魂。和更为激烈的应可能的战士同时进行。哦… … “时,面临着所谓的鲜花浮法走出地面… … ”

May 11, 2008

  • I am somewhat too much shielded these days lately.  Work boy.  Home boy.  Wanna-be playboy.  As if I am "in" society, doing society-things, and cannot get "out".  It's strange since I have most of my life been out there peering ever further outward.  I was always strange like that.  Perhaps the matter that I don't feel much out amidst nature's awe means that I'm not strange anymore.  No.  Nothing could be stranger than not submitting to the awe and wonders of nature.  Yet all's not spiritually lost for me.  I do dream of dodging tornadoes and falling off mountains.  And feel that all I'm enduring now is just a shady start to a new, my next, journey into the wild light.

    Chinese translation: 

    我感到有点太多屏蔽这些天最近。工作男童的消息。首页男童的消息。 wanna -被花花公子。至于如果我“在”社会,做社会的事情,并不能获得“出” 。它的奇怪,因为我有我大部分的生活一直有对等以往任何时候都进一步离港。我一直奇怪这样的。也许是事我不觉得多列中,大自然的敬畏,就是我并不奇怪了。号没有什么可奇怪的比不提交给敬畏和奇妙的性质。然而,所有的不精神上失去了我。我的梦想,逃废龙卷风和剥落山。并认为,所有我持久的,现在只是一个阴暗的开始到一个新的,我的未来,旅程野生轻。
    And back into Chinglish:
    I am a bit too much shielding these last days. The news of the boy. Home boy's news. wanna - was Playboy. As if I "in" community, social thing to do and not be "out." It's strange, because I have most of my life, and so has been the ever further outward. I have been surprised that way. Perhaps things I do not think that is more out of fear of nature, that is, I do not strange. , Have nothing to strange than not submitted to the nature of fear and wonderful. However, not all of the spirit of lost me. I dream of tornadoes and spalling Taofei Hill. And that all my long-lasting, is just the beginning of a darkness to a new, my future, the journey of wild light.

May 4, 2008

  •  I am in a better place now.   Though I am finding a greater paucity of personal experiential possibilities due to more demanding circumstances and more limited resources, the greater enforced simplicity of my lifestyle has become a lever to self-healing.  Healing oneself.  Hearing the music again.  Reading good words.   

    Auto-translated into Chinese.  Not bad, not bad at all:


  • Can anyone else see an ironic, if not prophetic, parallel between the following story snippet about the Kentucky Derby and the Democratic Primary race?  (After writing this just out of the blue of my own non-mediated impressions, I checked, and apparently so.)  The second-place gender-isolated filly, with Hillary money on her, immediately euthanized after the race?  And Big Brown, the favorite, the winner?  So...Hillary, in the running, was betting against Big Brown and lost.  I wonder who Big, I mean, Barack Obama was backing?!

    (As you read this, imagine Hillary, before the race, proclaiming "I'm Hillary Clinton and I endorse this filly.")

    The day began with hope and pomp. Bolstered by the sentimental support from 157,770 fans and endorsed by presidential contender Hillary Clinton and cheered by daughter Chelsea, the filly finished second in the Kentucky Derby on Saturday.

    She crossed the wire 4 3/4 lengths behind favorite Big Brown. Then, with the second-largest crowd in Derby history still whooping it up, Eight Belles collapsed with two broken front ankles.

    The magnitude of what happened was slow to reach the fans at Churchill Downs. Not only was a horse down, but it was the filly....Hillary Clinton (my, nfp's, italics) didn't attend the race, but she ordered her daughter to bet the filly.

       - CNN

    Some exquisitely hilarious Hillary-bashing on this matter shows up here.

    Auto-translated into Chinese:

    其他人能看到一个具有讽刺意味的,如果不是先知,平行之间的故事,以下摘录有关肯塔基州德比和民主党的主要种族? (后写这本刚刚走出蓝我自己的非介导的印象,我查了,显然是如此。 )第二位的性别隔离filly ,与希拉里的钱对她,立即安乐死比赛结束后呢?和大布朗,最喜爱的,赢家?因此, ...希拉里,在运行,是投注对大布朗和丢失。

    (正如你阅读这本,想象希拉里之前,种族,宣告: “我很希拉里和我赞同这filly ” ) 。

    当天开始的希望和轻车简从。再加上情感的支持, 157770球迷,并得到总统希拉里克林顿和欢呼声,由女儿切尔西, filly排名第二,在肯塔基州德比上周六。

    她越过铁丝网4 3 / 4长度背后最喜爱的大布朗。然后,与第二大人群在德比的历史,它仍然是百日咳, 8 belles倒塌,有两个方面打破了踝关节。

    规模发生了什么缓慢,以达到球迷在丘吉尔跌。不仅是一匹马,但它是filly ....希拉里克林顿(我的,承诺的,斜体)没有参加比赛,但她命令她的女儿,以押注filly 。


    ...And auto-translated back (it is too funny to pass up) from Chinese.  Apparently, Eight Belles' injury was related to the whooping cough:
    Other people can see a Ironically, if not a prophet, the parallel between the story, the following excerpt of the Kentucky Derby and the Democratic Party's main ethnic » (After writing this just out of my own blue-mediated impression, I check, apparently so.) Second in the gender segregation filly, and Hillary's money to her, immediately after the game? Euthanasia » And the Brown, the most favorite, the winner » Therefore, ... Hillary Clinton, running, is betting big on Brown and loss. I do not know who is backing the Barak Obama!

    (As you read this, imagine Hillary before the race, declared: "I am Hillary and I agree with this filly").

    The day of hope and Qingchejiancong. Coupled with the emotional support of 157,770 fans, and with President Hillary Clinton and cheers from her daughter Chelsea, filly finished second in the Kentucky Derby last Saturday.

    She crossed the wire 4 3 / 4 lengths behind the big favorite Brown. Then, with the second-largest crowd in Derby history, it is still whooping cough, 8 belles collapse, there are two aspects to break the ankle joint.

    The scale of what has happened slowly, so as to achieve the fans down in Churchill. Is not only a horse, but it is filly .... Hillary Clinton (and I, promised, in italics) did not participate in the competition, but she ordered her daughter to bet filly.

         -- CNN

    Some exquisite art Hillary - head-bashing on this issue shows here.

April 27, 2008

  • Why are such bizarre things are happening?  And why is the world getting even stranger?

    It seems CNN is now selling T-shirts based on their own online news headlines: "Teens getting high on mostly legal plant..." , "'It's fun to do bad things,' says joyrider, 7", "Katja! Baby giraffe takes first steps"

    Oh.  And an Austrian woman, now 42, has just escaped a dungeon where she was held for 24 years by her father, where she was constantly raped, and forced into bearing at least 7 children by her father, 3 of which have lived their entire lives in the dungeon also.  By the way, the father lived on the floor above the dungeon, with his wife - who purportedly knew nothing (for 24 years) about what was going on, and with 3 of the daughter's children (adopted by the mother and father), all of whom also never knew their mom and 3 other siblings lived in the dungeon below.  Well, at least they can't say "Only in America."

    Osama bin Laden is about to be apprehended in a cave.

    My doorbell just rang and there was nobody there.

    And why am I still hungry even though I just ate a huge mid-afternoon meal?

    And just as bizarre in Chinese:


    看来,有线电视新闻网现正销售的T恤衫,根据各自的网络新闻的标题: “十几岁就越来越高,大多是法律的植物… … ” , “它的乐趣做坏事, '说joyrider , 7 ” , “卡恰• !婴儿长颈鹿采取第一个步骤” 。

    哦。和一名奥地利女子,现在42 ,刚刚躲过地牢,她被关押24年,由她的父亲,她在那里不断被强奸,被迫进入轴承至少7名儿童由她的父亲,三,其中住了他们的整个生命在地牢也。由这样,父亲住在地板上以上的地牢,与他的妻子-据称一无所知( 2 4年)约发生什么事情,并与3女儿的孩子(所通过的母亲和父亲) ,所有其中,也从来不知道自己的妈妈和3个其他的兄弟姐妹住在地牢下面。那么,至少他们不能说“只有在美国” 。




April 24, 2008

  • not going to worry about the past, or agonize over the future.  i am going finish work and then spend the rest of the day trying to enjoy little wondrous things of life.

    "Do not worry about the past, or more than agonize at different future. I will complete its work, and then use the remaining days trying to enjoy some amazing things of life."

April 23, 2008

  • I awoke this morning to an awareness that I no longer have a beguiling Temptress.  I live in the midst of a thoroughly sex-oversaturated culture and am temptress-bereft?  wtf.  Ulysses had his Sirens.  Samson had his Hedy Lamarr, I mean, Delilah.  Even Bill Clinton had his Monica.  Glenn Beck may be right: these could be the Last Days.

    Chinese auto-translation below is seriously faulted:  how could they not know who Hedy Lamarr is?

    i ,一声巨响惊醒了今天上午的认识,我不再有逗趣的temptress 。我住在正处于一个彻底性oversaturated文化和上午temptress -束手无策? wtf 。尤利西斯他的警报器。萨姆森,他潘洁雯拉马尔,我的意思是,大利拉。甚至比尔克林顿,他的莫尼卡。格伦贝克可能是正确的:这些可能是最后的日子。

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